Inter-heart
Or shot in Bombay,
Stay clubbing in Spain,
You are on parade!
Show-off in Moscow,
Pleasures in Holland,
Tokyo sorrows…
For empty folder.
You live in Paris,
Clubbing in Turin,
You’ve got no carriage,
Your eyes are pure.
Who’ll notice wherever
City girl’s suicide?
Who’ll whisper whatever
In her inter-heart?
Свидетельство о публикации №104011101405
I would fix "Who'll notice, if ever"
Also "In her inner-heart"
Best of luck.
Athena :o)
Athena 12.03.2004 09:56 Заявить о нарушении
About your fixes: "if ever" is a really good idea, maybe I'll even change it...
But "inner-heart" is not fitting of course. All the meaning of the poem is inside this word: inter-heart.
Искра 21.12.2006 17:17 Заявить о нарушении