Inter-heart

Искра
Be born in the States
Or shot in Bombay,
Stay clubbing in Spain,
You are on parade!

Show-off in Moscow,
Pleasures in Holland,
Tokyo sorrows…
For empty folder.

You live in Paris,
Clubbing in Turin,
You’ve got no carriage,
Your eyes are pure.

Who’ll notice wherever
City girl’s suicide?
Who’ll whisper whatever
In her inter-heart?


© Copyright: Искра, 2004
Свидетельство о публикации №104011101405
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This is a nice poem. Your feeling come through, it is an interesting read, and is unusual.
I would fix "Who'll notice, if ever"
Also "In her inner-heart"

Best of luck.
Athena :o)

Athena   12.03.2004 09:56   •   Заявить о нарушении
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Thank you, Athena, it is a pleasure.
About your fixes: "if ever" is a really good idea, maybe I'll even change it...
But "inner-heart" is not fitting of course. All the meaning of the poem is inside this word: inter-heart.

Искра   21.12.2006 17:17   Заявить о нарушении
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