Russian Petroleum Investor Xmas Fracs 2003

…
I grab it tight, as in attempt to throttle,
From snow hole where it has lain,
The mandatory greenish heavy bottle
Of Soviet/Russian, pirated Champagne.

On strike of twelve or thereabout,
We mark the year to arrive,
As little gusher blows out,
Propelled by gas expansion drive.
The sparkling liquid flows free:
Mine is a Xmas Xmas tree. 

This magic flute, a vessel of illusion,
A bubbly stop that turns the year's leaf…
To sterilize liquidity infusion,
I promptly move for interim relief.

I wipe my ass, I take a pee,
But I keep thinking S&P:
Will tissues with this brown shade
One day become investment-grade?
And what the guys from Fitch and Moody's
Would say about this pile of doodies?

My ears ring with Christmas carol
Of Brent at thirty bucks a barrel,
Although some oil-producing tsars
Have dropped behind a bar or bars.

Yet those who've meet their KPI
Deserve their share of the pie.
For you and me and he and they
Have no par in M&A.
Despite naysayers' evil screeches,
We're on the way from rigs to riches.

…
If I got drunk, I wouldn't know:
All that my memory recalls
Is Moscow night of frost and snow,
Of jingling bells and tingling balls.

________
gusher - фонтанирующая скважина
Xmas tree - фонтанная арматура скважины
S&P, Fitch, Moody's - рейтинговые агентства
KPI - Key Performance Indicator
M&A - Mergers and Acquisitions