just this moment

You’re sipping your craft beer,
talking about tomorrow,
like it’s all gonna be perfect.
I could tell you it’s not,
but you’re so young, and I...
Who am I to take that away from you?

You’re going on about how much is ahead.
I don’t even bother answering –
not for everyone.
Maybe you’ve got a future,
but for me,
it’s just this moment.

You laugh, head tipped back,
the light catching your skin –
you look stunning.
So young, so shamelessly handsome.
Your smile, like a stitch on silk…
Your eyes, your lashes, your hands…

You don’t know what it’s like to feel tired,
to know how time can get heavy,
like a suitcase with no handle –
too much to carry, too much to drop.

You say something simple, something easy,
and I hold on to your words,
like they might save me,
like they might stop whatever’s already coming –
your future,
where I won’t be.

We met too late,
but if only you knew how grateful I am
for this moment –
thankful to you, to whoever’s listening,
to whoever gets thanked for these things.

You don’t get it yet,
what it’s like to chase someone else’s youth,
to want a life that’s not yours,
to try to warm your hands by a fire
that was never meant for you…

Oh, how happy you are…
But I’m… no less happy.