My greatest fear

So, I had a dream,
A nightmare, to be
Precise. Screwed up my emotions.

It's not even real
The thing that I fear.
You dying is not an option.

But why do I feel
Like this is as near
As skin to my body's muscles?

That was just a dream.
You always will be
Beside me. I am not asking.

This isn't a question, this is a fact.
You'll be here forever. I'll make sure of that.
I'm not losing you. I'm sorry, my friend,
You simply have no other choice, I'm afraid.

I'm being possessive, I am being weird
Saying such things out loud, like a creep.
Can't help it. I am not surviving the mess
I'd become with you dead. So I couldn't care less

That I must no doubt seem quite paranoid.
I've already seen once this horrible void.
It's not about you leaving me, I'd accept it
With understanding and with no resentment.

It's not about you leaving this gloomy city,
This country or continent... Сбился, простите.

It is about seeing you pale in a coffin,
It is about you being buried before me,
You, being stiff, unresponsive and cold.
It is about my fear of you being gone.


Дорогой Евгении С.
20 декабря 2024 года.

Если вы не знаете английского, то вы можете перейти в мой телеграм-канал, ссылка на который есть в моём профиле. Это стихотворение опубликовано там, и в комментариях к нему я выложил перевод.
Спасибо за внимание.