articulate it

The background of consciousness is not articulate?
Well, I can easily describe that background:
“What the hell happened to being born in this country?”
Living in a background of dusky annoyance -
A basic screen saver is painted on the background - a complaint about fate?
What's behind you, have you wondered?
Well this is what it is.

This is the way the country is and nothing has changed at any time it's been like this here.
That thought in the background takes a lot of energy.
I can't get rid of that set for the rest of my life.
Why so long, then:
What the hell was I born. Dot.
Why the ethnic coloring?

I could have been a happy Thai, for example.
No, you couldn't.
I could have been born a languid Haitian.
No, you couldn't. Everything's in place.
You could only have been born here with that moody attitude.
I'm a very cheerful and simple-minded person,
almost like a Filipino fruit vendor.
And tell that to anyone who's willing to listen to tall tales.

Heaven's punishment.
Don't get on that line of crime and retribution, you're not even a Christian,
It's all about conformity,
and maybe it's your view that's creating that reality.
It's the pull of this country's sense of conglomeration,
you're the one who carries it around and won't let it go.

I'm an anarchist at heart and an agnostic.
And I killed the state in me.
Yes, and a storyteller, a liar and a master of makeup.
Paint over the lies with equanimity and that's the fifth layer.

This background is a portrait of you painted behind you called “this country.”
The identity is false.
Well, take it out then. This screen saver.

“What the hell did I do to be born in this country?”
That very thought is a forced regret.
Both words of shame are unarticulated, just background.
Allegorical, isn't it?

Ouija, just tell me how I could be as earthy as a Chinese rickshaw.
I could be as frivolous as a Parisian.
No.
And why is it always “no”?
Conformity. Sullen corresponds to sullen, gloomy corresponds to gloomy.
You can't fake joy, or it's not joy.
Pardon me, what's not there is not there.

Which is primary, the look or the view?
From my current position, the view is definitely primary.
Change your position, you're sitting on your head and thinking, are you comfortable?
You can't sit on your head.
That's right! Sit on your ass,
and then maybe you'll see that it's the view that counts, not what he sees.

Yeah, I remember, everyone sees what's in them and nothing else.
We don't even see each other.
Yeah, and it looks like you have a tiled ornament.
And stop making up “everyone,” it's always about you.
An American clerk?
No.
Indian yogi?
No.
You are who you are. Change the background, it's very hopeless, hopeless and boring.

What am I, a stagehand?
Do some painting.
Paint everything just white,
because it's annoying, the background is too rippling.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)