No one likes my sadness

You are the subject I still try to bring up.
Forgot how you said you're so glad I could drop by.
Her name was Elayna, which means shining light.
I saw you averting your gaze.

I asked if we have any unwritten laws.
You said you'll bring flowers home every month.
This blaze of your love made me feel like a moth,
and I just averted my gaze.

Did you fall in love with me from the third glance? The second one I have.
The first thought I had it was "am I in trance?"
Someone tell me if I was, I guess I've been.

I pick perfume bottles and old Amber Hills.
I can't recall times, when I lived without pills.
It seems like an old tales and all that I feel
is no one likes the sadness.

I thought you were permanent just like the ink
in tears falling down you fade as I blink.
I'll fade in their smiles, when you touch the strings,
but no one likes the sadness.

If you were sent to make me die
why am I still staring
at your old profile?
If you were going to left me dryed
why did you notice all of my signs?

I came from calling you mine to some boy.
When did you rename me from princess of troy?
That six days you layed bone-tired and unemployed?
But no one likes this sadness.

And you recalled details and every date,
cauee I used to be stuck on my traits.
I held your hand tighter, when you called us fate,
but you dont like my sadness.

And we've got a different perception of what love could have been.
I've been to your home, but you truly never let me in.

You said you'll fire the question in the restaurant.
Was it when you started  putting it on?
Did it lead you to calling it all "wrong"
and never like my sadness?

What if you never had any depression,
so you got tired of your double-faced pressure,
so that's why leaving me feels like the pleasure?
You won't have to taste my sadness.

What if I'm good with all this leftovers
of time when I couldn't tell if you were sober?
You said you'll be drunk, but drunk as a lover
You didn't like your sadness.

I know every corner and bump on the road.
You used to plan dates for us on the boats.
I swallowed my pride, it stuck lump in the throat.
You don't have to like my sadness.

I guess you'll stay stubborn, like pillow you clobber,
but you used to hug it,
when I wasn't around.
I wish I could save
all your notes in my chest,
cause I can't take a breath,
it's unmerry death.
 
So if we stay too long apart
and you'll get tired of unbreakable hearts,
will be there a chance, that you'll find the way to my home?
Like there was never sadness.
So if we stay godforsaken
and you'll get tired of hearts, that ain't breaking
will there be a chance, that you'll start to be looking for me?
For my sadness?

cause if you don't know all of my words were under breath
I said I can't...
If even this love ends
All my scratches ... became scars,
cause I wonder

I told myself "you don't have to be in the know",
and they all convinced people come and they go,
but I just keep wandering around my home.
Now I know -
no one likes the sadness.

I'll see it as soon as you move on from us,
cause telephones got contacts synchronized.
I'll picture you looking deep in their eyes,
and there'll be so much sadness.

If you ever find your longing rest,
promise you'll never say that again.
If you ever find me somewhere
far away
say that you never
loved them like me.