Vladislav

Vladislav

Dracula is Gypsy king,
He is real Lord of ring,
In the castle there's creaks and groans,
Closet full of skeletons.

Uncle of Hungarians,
Father of Romanians,
Mr. Tsepesh Vladislav -
On the quarter he was Slav.

Wallachia's fearless count,
Only on himself could count,
He have crossed his motherland,
Met more enemies than friends.

People say, that he ate flesh,
That made him feel young and fresh,
People say, that he drank blood,
In the necks left marks of bite.

Not reflecting in the mirrors,
Punisher of rats and squealers,
In leather jacket and black coat
He's riding a black horse between oaks.

Cold-blooded like a monitor lizard,
In the kingdom of wisdom mighty wizard,
He could transformate into bat
Size of quetzalcoatlus.

He wasn't scared of garlic and crucifixion,
This is mythology and fiction,
He ate garlic with the ham,
Just didn't post it on Instagram.

People say, he slept in a coffin,
Moon is full, but not that often,
People say, they saw a shades
On the cemetery gates.

Wise and calculative raven,
Clever wolf and cunning fox,
Six and seven - hell and heaven,
For Dracula it's 666.

He hated liars and thieves,
Lazy bums and cocky Steves,
He would punish for pretense
With enthusiasm and intence.

He was terrible, but just.
Sinner! Fear his angerblast!
In his alley of impaled
Both rich and poor could be installed.

But You know what people say,
They embellish and exaggerate,
The legend grows and new details
Are added to fairytales.

Vlad was also a family guy,
At first he wasn't cruel at all,
But his father and brother died
In coup d'etat couple years ago.

His father decapitated in revolt -
Janosh and Matyash were involved -
His brother was buried alive,
And mother - of the plague she died.

Janosh is the general of Magyars,
Their king - his son Matyash;
What an enemies to have!
But it's them who misbehave.

Vlad returned from Istanbul,
He was tortured there and schooled,
They tried to convert him to Islam,
But he didn't call his mom.

He came back with ambitious plan
To make Romania great again,
Shocked by the deaths of his family
He declared the war on Hungary.

This war continued through his life,
He always kept his sword and knife,
But first Dracula gave a feast
And he invited aristocratists,

Whom he suspected of betrayal,
He gave them wine in golden grails:
'Dear friends' - he said - 'Here we met!
Would You like some more lamb meat?'

They were full of meat and wine:
'Bring us more!' - they laugh and smile,
And Dracula said to his wolf pack
To lock and fry them like a steak.

Because he needs humble and outkast
To help him to complete his quest,
He wants to pay back Magyars and Turks -
His wound is deep and it still hurts.

And he hunted his enemies,
And his enemies hunted him,
Janosh' accomplices shoot, but missed,
But Dracula is not scared nor he screamed.

He runs and hides in forest darkness,
He finds and fights the foes of his duchyness,
And he returned from Moldova's exile
Cutthroat insomniac - cruel and wild.

But let's enjoy landscape a bit:
Here's bushes of nettle and hogweed,
Here mountains rise and forests grow,
Here plains spread wide and rivers flow.

Flocks of sheep and herds of goats,
Clearwater streams and limestone roads,
Patterned clothes of local tribes,
Cheese and sausage 100 types.

Here we have a Gypsy tent:
Gypsies pay no tax or rent,
Songs and dances until dawn -
They don't have to pay the loan.

Here's the witch house in the woods:
Potions, herbals, bones and roots;
Here's the werewolf went by -
In the new moon he's a good guy.

Wolves are howling, owls are hooting,
Dogs are barking, crows are cawing,
Winds are blowing, rains are falling,
Bats are flying, people lying...

Transylvania isn't a cage,
Although it encircled by mountain range;
In Karpathians, in the pines,
Gothic castle, vault with wines.

Thick and burgundy curtains
Accompanied those cloudy days,
Shelves of old books, ancient arts:
Pictures, sculptures, chess and darts.

Candelabra and chandeliers,
Fine carvings on furniture and railings,
Sideboards, carpets, fringe and lace,
Woods are crackling in fireplace.

But Dracula hates comfort,
His blade is sharp, so is his word;
He's chasing enemies in the dark -
In green ocean he's white shark.

Once he received the Turkish guests,
They wore turbans on their heads,
And didn't take them off indoors -
Dracula was annoyed of course.

So he asked them: 'How you dare
To insult me so unfair?'
So they said: 'For Turks it's fine,
We don't see here any crime.'

Dracula is calm, like boa:
'Well, I might strengthen your law.'
And he ordered to his guards
To nail turbans to those skulls.

And he let them go and said:
'Tell your king, he made me sad.
He may be used to disrespect,
But I am differently packed.'

Sultan was angry really bad
And to the Balkans his army led,
But Dracula gathered good pals:
'Let's punish those cannibals!'

Vladislav in front of troops
Fought for people, land and roots.
He did damage to his foe
And prevented bigger woe.

So two armies rest in camps,
Peasantry sowed flax and hemps;
Sultan sent an embassy -
He's cocksure of his supremacy.

And he demands tribute from Vlad.
Dracula said: 'Me and my squad
Has always dreamed to join sultan,
I want to be his bodyguard.

We want to come and see the king!'
Sultan was happy to hear such thing,
And he gave order to his dwellers
To meet them warm and feed them well.

The count's army marched for 5 days,
Inside Turkey they advanced,
But then suddenly turned back
And plundered Turks in this deathtrack.

Because that's what Ottomans do:
They kill and enslave Christians too.
They take nation's beauty and strength
And plunder their motherlands.

And Vlad said to Turkish embassy,
Who was with him and saw everything:
'I can serve sultan like that!' -
And he wiped a sweat from his forehead.

Once two Catholic Hungarian monks
Came to Dracula to collect alms.
He separated them and took to rally
Along the impaled people alley.

And he asked each one of them:
'Did I do well, or am I damned?'
One said: 'My Lord, it's evil what You did.
Despite the crimes that they committed,

You showed no mercy, dropped no tear,
And those on stakes are martyrs!'
Dracula called another one -
There's nowhere to hide or run -

And second monk looked into his eyes
And said: 'My Lord, You did both good and wise.
Those ones on stakes - they sinned to much,
And You choosen by God to judge.'

Now Dracula called the first monk:
'Why did you leave your monastery, punk?
If you don't know how to talk with kings,
Then you should be among martyrs!'

And he impaled the first monk
In the fit of angry rage,
But he gave to the second one
50 ducats and cortege.

In Transylvania once arrived
One Hungarian merchant
And he left his things outside
In his parked diligence.

Someone stole his gold at night -
Exactly 160 ducats.
Dracula sweared God to find
That thief. And found him in outskirts.

He was impaled and money bag
Was given back to that merchant,
But Dracula wanted to check
His honesty using the chance.

And he put in bag one more ducat.
That merchant twice his money counted,
And he said to Vlad: 'There's extra one.'
Vlad answered: ' I would have staked You, if You'd lied!'

Once Dracula had a peaceful dinner
With wine, candles and impaled sinners,
This servant brought him cutlets french
And covered his nose from the stench.

Dracula's test did not take long:
'My dear friend, is something wrong?'
'My Lord, I cannot stand this smell!'
Vlad paused and answered: 'Very well.'

He gave an order to impale
That servant. Here we go again!
And he explained: 'On such a height
This smell will bother you less, my kite.'

Dracula loved to test the ambassadors,
He asked them tricky questions in the alley of corpses,
If they answered wise, he treated them well,
If not, they were ending up impaled.

Once he fought the king Matyash,
Dracula is tough and harsh.
But traitors handed him for sale
To Matyash, who locked him in prison cell.

Here he spent 12 boring years,
But Dracula did not drop tears,
Although he was finally convinced
To reject Orthodoxy and accept Catholicism.

Matyash gave him land again
And his gorgeous sister's hand,
She gave birth to two sons for Vlad,
While Dracula his army led.

Once he fought with Turkish horde -
In the blood his sleeves and sword -
Dracula rode up the hill
To see the winning battlefield.

And he was pierced with 13 spears
By 13 traitors from his nears;
Local boyars were afraid of him a lot,
So they finished him and drank his blood.

Dracula was a punisher,
He had some love and hate to share,
He tortured and executed exquisitely
Both aristocracy and peasantry.

But he rewarded strong and wise,
For people's souls he played in dice,
He was a character of contrast,
But who are we? We're just stardust.

He united Romanian tribes,
Punished sinners for their crimes,
He was horrible and grim,
You better not upset him!

Happy Halloween to all!