didn t want it with me

I know you can't read it -
my mind, that was needing,
like books need the reader:
someone who could patch up the hole,
that I called my soul.

The walls like the fortress
absorbed all your coldness.
I talked to my best friend,
she pictured my white dress,
I felt
my chest like bouncing ball.

I'm scared bloom is off the rose.
I'll never get used to your ghost.

I thought you're gonna tell me
you're never ever enough for me.
I thought you're gonna run to me,
once I fix a fritz in me.
Thought you're gonna need in me,
once you find friend in me.
You didn't want any relationship.
You didn't want it with me.
You didn't want it with me.

Your eyes got quite bitter,
when you gave me that sweater.
I crumbled,
my strongly fortified town.
Is that reason I'm down?

I'm scratching my finger,
there's under the gold ring.
Leftovers of atomic winter right under our feet.
Am I the one who sees?

I thought you're gonna tell me
you're never ever enough for me.
I thought you're gonna run to me,
once I fix a fritz in me.
Thought you're gonna need in me
once you find peace in me .
You didn't want any relationship.
You didn't want it with me.
You didn't want it with me.

You said town is boring,
too small for your glory.
You turned outlawry.
I saw as you became a pilgrim,
that what I see in my dreams.

The holy of Holies
consider your stories,
but will it forgive you, if someone still long for the end
with no wink of sleep?

But I didn't want to be your grief,
but you're my greatest mischief.

Desperate times calling,
the blood is just boiling.
I'm writing a story of
the stones, that I'm rolling
like eyes,
that you rolled at my blagues.

So you never mind, when
I'm caught up in fire.
And all of the village has come
just to watch my last scream.
The ashes like the flakes.

And starlight is just echo of past.
I nod, but my heart still catches the dust.

I'll admit, that I waited,
but you never proposed,
so follow your arrows,
so follow your nose.
When the life seems unfair,
when your hopes pass away
I silently whispered "believe me, I'll stay".
I don't miss a thing,
but you said missing is waste,
since I've never been to your old rented place.
If I was more completed and fun at my age
maybe then I would just turn it into a jest.
If I was more structured and barrel of fun
maybe then you would risk and call me the one .
You'll turn it into the slight mockery.
You did want relationship .
You just didn't want it with me.

I've told myself, that
you'll find someone else.
You never denied it.
You never fought back,
so I said:
"There's no point if it's true".

There's no way I could tie down.
You're wilder, than downtown.
The kingdoms came undone,
but when it comes to the living tissue
there's no best glue.

You said you don't wanna fall in love.
You just didn't want it with me.

So how feels falling free,
when you're above all the trees.
Lost hope in the twist,
like you knew all the tricks.
I'm not sure.
Did you just know the end?

Six years flying around your neck.
Six months, that I'll never take back.

And I know I've just said it:
I'll find someone else.
Your light painless laughter
was bellow all the belts
and I drove through the haze, cause I simply got used
to fall where's unsafe and got beaten in bruise.
Disaster came into my life
to prove, that I'm alive.
I'm so alive.
Why can't you just take a joke,
but I watched all my mirrors got crashed by your smoke,
I know.
You did want relationship.
You just didn't want it with me.