Lard business plan

I have a new business plan!
I only need a law that everything I do is legal.

I will create a control system better than any passports!
What's up? - the software is written in HTML in two days.
Control is just a database.
Each village Vasya will log into his account using his fingerprint!
And according to a unique scan of his eye.
With such a beautiful collar, we don't need a muzzle.
How convenient, here are your bank accounts,
We see mom's locations and phone numbers in one place.
And now, you owe me everything.

I will set any fine more than you earn in a year.
And you will go and borrow money from me to live on.
Oh, did you also buy a vacuum cleaner and a mortgage on your apartment?
Of course, dear Vasya!
Why else do we need more marketing?
loan - on favorable terms - the rate is only a million per day.
Take it and pay, of course!

But remember, you owe me a lot.
There is no need to ask unnecessary questions: “why does life work this way?”
This philosophical matter is not for your mind.
Pay your fines and taxes and live in peace.
Don't worry, I will send you new invoices to pay.

Is the fine greater than any earnings?
You shouldn't have left your family
and you wouldn’t have an expense item for alimony.
Well, drive according to the rules and earn more - and there are no problems.
No, in any case, Vasya, you will have to.

Vasya, no matter how hard you work,
no matter what you do,
you'll still be a pauper, and
I'll make sure of it.
but you can always join my service
and get your guaranteed piece of poverty.
but then you'll owe me tenfold for your trust.
and I'll lend you your time.

The old woman pawnbroker from Dostoevsky?
Are you Raskolnikov, maybe?
Mind you, he ended badly.
No, I have a snow-white captain's cap
and maintaining my yacht is expensive.
But how lucky, Vasya, you will always owe me.
Like millions of other Vasyas.

Don't worry, we have a collection system -
super modern, with voice and face recognition.
And all the bandits are now employed by us.
They will find you and pull you out of the ground,
but you will pay your debts.
We are a private business, but everything is legal with us.

You yourself signed the contract,
Here’s the point: everything I do is legal.
We will multiply your debts across all your accounts.
This will be progressive.
(the debt has only tripled? Look, you have to deal with beggars all the time)

There are no fines or mandatory payments, I will impose them.
But you can go to court, and it’s mine too.
Stopping in the wrong place in a field means you already owe me your apartment.
Come on, we are a private enterprise,
We only bought a patent for the type of activity.
Kidney? Well, you know, Vasya, there is always a way out in case of emergency.

Don't worry, you can pay -
you have an eye and a kidney
You can sell your life after all.
A private enterprise, but in the name of Caesar, of course.
Well, in ancient times, Roman governors were killed on the roads all the time.
We will take into account experience
I will live on beautiful and inaccessible islands.
Or London! Secretary find out the tower is now for sale?
Yes, I need a rural house by the lake.
What's criminal here? May I?
On the contrary, I will be a fighter for humanism.
(And against inhumane systems even in private conversations.)

Vasya, ungrateful one,
who helps you more than Jesus?
You will have to pray for me.
(We will collect this debt too, never mind,
the whole world is at your feet,
On credit, yes.
No, you will buy the tracking device at your own expense.)

I'll get rich!
This seems like an unoccupied business niche!
All you need is a patent for security cameras,
And a couple of meter by meter stalls for issuing loans to people.
(To support them in their difficult situation.)
And a document stating that everything I do is legal.
I take upon myself the area of ;;responsibility of the service.
I'll get rich!
This business plan is a delight, and no one has guessed it yet.
And he is socially oriented, mind you.
I can already see my yacht in the ocean.