Лехаим!

мой первый стендап для коллег) местами смешно, ахах. гугл транслейт, если хотите.


Hi, folks! Today, we celebrate a monumental event - my 48th birthday. Yes, that's right, 48. It feels like just yesterday I was 30, and now I’m here, officially closer to my 401(k)* than my college degree. Time flies when you're having fun - or in my case, filing quarterly reports and dodging the IRS*.

Let me set the record straight: I'm proudly Jewish. Yes, I think it's no secret to any of you, but if you somehow didn't know, come up to me at the end of the party, and I'll share a great gefilte fish recipe with you.

I learned this recipe from my grandmother. Oh, she was an amazing woman with a clear-eyed view of things. She used to say, "Sasha, money isn't everything, but try to make sure you have some." That's how I became the CFO*…

She once said: “Darling, with all this stress, it's a wonder I'm only 80!” And speaking of stress, being a CFO is like a full-time exercise in anxiety management. Who needs yoga when you have financial statements to balance?

Running has become my escape. It's the only time I can outrun my responsibilities, if only for a fleeting moment. There's nothing quite like a morning jog to remind me that no matter how fast I run, the budget meetings are always waiting for me at the finish line.

Age is just a number, right? Well, let me tell you, this number comes with back pain, reading glasses, and a newfound appreciation for high-fiber diets. But who’s counting? Oh, right. I am. Always.

So, here I am at 48, almost 16 of which I’ve spent working at this company, surviving and thriving in the corporate jungle.

Well then, let's raise a glass to the spreadsheets that haunt my dreams and the balance sheets that keep me going. To the wrinkles that narrate tales of endless nights and overflowing cups of coffee. And to all of you for bearing with the “deep” reflections of your beloved CFO.

Thank you, guys, and try not to get too drunk on my tab. Your workday isn't over yet, unlike mine.
L'chaim!

29.05.2024


*401(k) — популярный план частной пенсионной системы
*IRS — Налоговое управление
*CFO – финансовый директор