One day I would be called your faithful Hachiko...

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            * * *   22.05.2024   Tel-Aviv   
    ÏÈÒÅÐÊÀ
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One Day I Would Be Called Your Faithful Hachiko...
Piterka Badmaeva Olga
Tel Aviv, 22.05.2024

One day they would call me your faithful Hachiko...

Accept, my love, this belated plea – forgive.
Now... I have learned to say – forgive me.
That cruel child along your brief path in life,
Who for so long humiliated the warrior in you –
Now… they will feel it all themselves.
The way you loved... I can’t even dare to dream of such love.
I watch as the rippling night sea merges with the sky,
Sinking into the darkness.
You truly were in this world… and maybe you’re here again,
In that place where you now reside – do you remember me, or… have you forgotten?
Or perhaps, knowing I will love again,
The Creator sent you there as my punishment...?

My stubbornness, sharpness, and defiance, so unfamiliar to you,
You were accustomed to worship –
A tribute to the dignity of a king.
For me, it wasn’t a secret –
You measured my straightforwardness and naivety as offense,
Taking playful teasing as hurtful truths.
Unwilling to accept that the jokes shared with you
Were born of love.

And yet... I broke a promise to you –
To leave a sign you’d recognize,
To write something meant just for you.
But... what could I do, realizing
That any of your fans would unravel the riddle with ease?
And so, I refrained,
Likely hurting you again... out of love.
Without the keys to reconciliation, I was left adrift.

Now I wander alone among your bitter words,
Like in a wild forest... where nothing is by chance.
There, from branch to branch,
Follows me the smile without a cat...
Until, stepping onto the path, comes my wise little sister –
The one people call Alice, the creator of wonders.

She takes my hand with a magical warmth,
Whispers a brief, sage advice,
Beckons the smile without a cat with a finger,
And disappears into the thicket,
Vanishing the moment her help is no longer needed,
Leaving me... with the unconditional truth.

In the viscous silence,
My thoughts dissolve into the healing sounds of the forest.
From the subconscious, where Alice hides,
Her tender voice returns, like a gentle ether:

"Save your love
For the one who is worthy of your feelings,
Who will never say, ‘I don’t love you,’
Who, at the very least, is a brave warrior in spirit,
Who will cherish your life as their own.
Then you’ll know they are truly worthy of your love."

In real life, not in movies,
Where clumsy things make us laugh,
Even the comfortable can become destructive.
One who disrupts someone’s world, passing through it,
Doesn’t notice how long they’ve left someone unhappy behind.

And you... in the eyes of others, you are sincere and tender,
So kind, incapable of causing hurt...
But why for them, and not for me?
As if I am blind, unable to see the harshness.
Sometimes generous and gentle, endearingly awkward,
But within this soft teddy bear,
Hides a roaring bear at times.

Why... do I alone know this?
Perhaps I should feel flattered by such trust,
That I am allowed to see a side
Hidden from everyone else, even those closest to you.
But... who said I needed it?

Oh, my king... your ego is unconquerable...
And within it (ironically so)... lies your strength.

You are offended that I saw in you
An irrational, domineering child.
But still, I thought you wise enough
To understand – it is in vain,
There’s no reason for us to cross the boundary,
Where the flags stand – forbidden territory.

For the loyalty and patience in my hidden feelings,
I stand proud of myself... though it’s not easy.
I am not ashamed
That one day they will call me your faithful, patient Hachiko.

Tel Aviv, 22.05.2024     * * *




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