Shame

I grew alongside with my shame
It was my hangman and my frame
That corroded skin and bones
Left me hopelessly alone

And almost every person on my way
Said I must love myself to play
This little game we’re calling life
But how someone who cannot swim can close their eyes and dive

The walls of silence made me realize
That my feelings matter less than being nice
I felt so guilty for hating on my image
That I hated even more and saw no difference

I wore the shoes that were too small
Not to lose complete control
And to fit in every role
That never suited me at all

I wished the time to be a healer
But it turned out to be a killer
Or probably the layers of concealer
Applied to hide my scars and never to reveal them

But all the bleeding, bruised and broken
Will never disappear if I pretend I’m joking

This hidden pain just spreads
Just like the smoke of cigarettes
Life seems a battle that you are to fail
You drop your head not eager to inhale

But I let the fear leave my chest
And I finally take a breath
To cross the river of deceit
That my soul is incomplete

I’d rather swim and drown
Then I let myself down
I let go of what was fake
There’s no shame in past mistakes

I grew alongside with my shame
It was my hangman and my frame
But it won’t chop off my head
Cause I let it die instead