***

30/08/23

No happiness on earth, yet there’s freedom, peace
A. Pushkin

when asked about longing
i miss
the times feminists knew how to ride brooms
helped to choose
between hellebore and belladonna
now they just refuse to be paid for

when asked about heaven
i think
there’s no room for daintiness in there
i imagine W;jygs* would never eat any of the Narts**
they’d just put them into their warm mouths

and we will also be taken care of

when asked about mercy
i frown
a daughter-in-law must wash the boots of all men of the house
before going to bed and yet
their heels
have never kissed
anything sharp

when asked about skills
i sigh
i know how to fold my soul
i know how to iron it
but when the others come
will i be able
to leave?

when asked about poetry
i stray
there is something in watching
a pigeon pecking at breadcrumbs from a guiri’s*** vomit

shall not please shall not chant
absorb
 
when asked about peace
I remember
somewhere in between a namaz on a cardboard carpet
and a smile at “candy darling”
-
his hand circles above the table
explaining something




*a figure in Ossetian demonological belief as well as in fairy tales and eposes. This is a creature of huge height and force, usually hostile to humans. He is of huge build and his mouth stinks. Some of them have individual characteristics: some are one-eyed, mainly, have several heads. There are three-headed, nine-headed, and in some fairy tales - hundred-headed.
(N. Bepieva)
** “A mythical tribe of tall, nomad warriors, the Narts were courageous, bold, and good-hearted. But they were also capable of cruelty, envy, and forceful measures to settle disputes”
***a colloquial Spanish word often used in Spain to refer to uncouth foreign tourists, particularly from the United Kingdom. However, it can be applied to people from other Northern European countries. In most Latin American countries, a synonym for guiri is gringo. Although somewhat pejorative, it is not considered a slur by Spanish speakers if used as a lighthearted tease