from... to

I look at my phone, forget where I am
A text simply says “died 6.30am”
I notice how things are strangely mundane
I pack and I get on a home-bound plane

I look out the window, beyond night and day
I do the small talk and it all feels okay
Across the whole world, now it’s my turn to go
From having to losing, from summer to snow

From clear to hazy to black
From crying to laughing and back

The tail end of winter, a tear and a whisper
A closing chapter, an opening door
A journey from never to forevermore
From never to forevermore

I step off the plane, reality lost
In the air of my home town stinging with frost
I step into memories I wanted erased
But here I am, happy and shattered and dazed

Across the whole world just to see your still face
To feel your cold cheek just the once, just in case
To stand by your grave with the snow piling high
On the crosses beneath an indifferent sky

From living to making no sense
From grown-up to child to myself

The photo of you at the head of the table
From feeling your presence to feeling unstable
Reliving your stories, retelling your jokes
There’s vodka and noise and it feels like a hoax
You’ll never be gone though it’s your turn to go
From now to then to a lifetime ago

The tail end of winter, a tear and a whisper
A closing chapter, an opening door
A journey from never to forevermore
From never to forevermore