Are You... real???

Gift
Are You real Friend for me???
You must help me to find friend inside You!!! We can talk,going for coffee,dinner,in hot pools,trimm your garden,clean your deck,bring and grow flowers and even VEGES for You!!!
I can open big secret: if You will say to kiss You once,I will be kissing You 1mln times!!! Big and Deep Mouse Friendship?????
  Do You know why English people created the word friendship? 2314 years ago in community was not enough food.But even in that time people were different by muscle, social level,weight,relatives etc...Some of people were like...a current homeless people...in our days.They were abandoned by society and were at the end of social ladder. When after 4,53 days hunters were coming back in villages without darling meat of Dears, they started to be very hungry!!! And their life was more important for them then life of Peter from the end of society ...And they were cooking, frying  or boiling Peter from the End of social ladder of society to the end of readiness as a good meat with the aim to give food for own kids...
  Friend in English means: fry someone from the end, as food in package...
                With hope to be your Friend,gardener Paul