Repentance of the King

As if there is something left unsaid, and as if not all the questions have been answered yet. That's why I want to talk again. And remember this story..

And if I am heard, then it will be the best reward for me.

You know that all the events, the so-called random events that occur in your life have been simulated. By you personally. By your actions. which you did earlier and by your words that you said out loud.

You've grown up and you understand that everything matters.

You came to what you were going to. And you will get what you deserve. You have come to the situation that you created yourself.

Today we are reaping the harvest of what we sowed before. And in the future we will harvest from what we sow today.

And everything you say and do today will affect your tomorrow and shape your future.

And even what you hear today will affect your life
Everything you hear transforms you in some unknown way.

And before I begin my story, I want to tell you the most important thing for you and wish you something.

Because when we start talking, we never know if we will finish our speech. Will we have time to say everything.

I have prepared words for you today. I baked them like a birthday cake in my heart and would like to treat them to you.

They are as simple as the sky. Light as a snowflake. Needed like bread.They will make the sun shine brighter. For you. So that all corners of your soul will be filled with light, warmth and love!


You know, words define everything. They exalt or overthrow, they awaken or put to sleep. Words are thrown into heat or cold. The words are put to music and reach the depths of the human soul.

Don't promise me anything. I'll promise you.I promise you all the kindest and best.

Someone has to promise you. Because the soul wants to hear the words of the promise. Because it gives hope. And you can't live without hope.

A promise is like a prediction, it's like a prophecy. Because words are given to encourage another person and inspire those who are tired.

When promises come from the heart, they will definitely come true. I promise you not episodes of happiness, but a full happy life. A life filled with harmony and peace.

This is achievable with the help of your faith, with the help of your inner resources and with the help of Heaven. You have all this, so there is no reason for doubt.


I promise you that even your innermost dreams and desires will come true.

If you have experienced difficulties in your life for a long time, then it is time to acquire and repay for everything that you have suffered.

Let the darkness be replaced by light, the weak will turn into the strong. Where there was a minus, let there be a plus. Where there were losses, let there be gains now.

All the good things you will have in abundance.
And all the bad things will be stopped, washed away by the rain, carried away by the wind.


I promise you all this, because words, like strong warriors, go far beyond the horizon and bring from there everything you need.

They also reach the depths of your heart and rekindle those candles that once burned in your soul.


The property of the soul is to feel what is behind the words that are addressed to you.

To feel this invisible message, and to absorb what is transmitted to you along with speech.

In these words, I give you a part of myself, a part of my fire, and it is impossible to resist this fire. Therefore, the cold recedes, glaciers melt, fog dissipates.

The sun is rising, and a new dawn is dawning in your life. Life will delight you with new events, delight you, throw new challenges and open up new opportunities.

What should happen will happen. What should come true will come true.

Dream and make wishes. Order prizes, gifts and surprises. Let the Sky decide for itself how to make all this a reality.



I saw Bathsheba and realized that I had been captured. You know, even strong military leaders and kings sometimes give up.
A woman can sometimes do more than the strongest army. The woman was able to defeat the strongest man Samson.

A woman has great inner strength and power.
God has put some mystical components in her that make her influential and convincing, despite the fact that some consider her a weak being.


And that's the day I met Bathsheba... It would be better if she did not raise her eyes and did not look at me.

It would be better if our views did not overlap. Because this fire that broke out at the intersection of our eyes could not be extinguished, even if I poured all the seas on earth on it.

A woman's eyes-that's the force of attraction.

It's all in her eyes. You just can't break away from them.  It show everything, It reveal everything, It expose everything.

And it was as if I penetrated through those eyes into the depths of her soul and saw this beauty of her nature.Her inner world is incomparable and unique.

Eyes are something that you can't hide, your gaze tells about thoughts, feelings.

Everything seems to be written on a blank sheet of paper, just look and read.

And now her eyes said that she seemed to be expecting something, as if she was calling for something. I saw hopes, dreams and desires in her eyes.

But then I had to stop in time.

Yes, I had to admire this creation of God by a woman named Bathsheba and get out of her sight. Go into the shadows.

But how can the tsar go into the shadow?
How can the person number one in the kingdom get out of her sight and never cross paths with her?

Something spoke of the inevitability of our meeting.

Everything was suddenly mixed up in me: feelings, emotions, desires.

Everything was seething and boiling, eclipsing the mind.

It seems impossible to sort everything out and come to a decision to expunge this person from my life.

There was something different and more serious and meaningful here than the usual passion.

I have not been young for a long time and the usual beauty of the body and perfect facial features will not take me. The beauty of the body without the beauty of the soul left me indifferent.

And the word temptation seemed out of place here.

And the realization that she has a husband somehow faded into the background.
Why. Because I wasn't interested in him. I was interested in myself. My feelings, my feelings.

And what Uriah, the lawful husband of Bathsheba, felt when he realized that the king had turned his gaze on his wife, I did not think about it.

And here is Bathsheba in my palace. On my bed....Who can forbid something to the king. Who can refuse something to the king. That's what I thought before.

I sometimes despise this state power that I am endowed with.

Because power and permissiveness turn all the kindest things in the soul into ashes.
And your humble look becomes arrogant over time.

Faith in God weakens, but the conviction that you are omnipotent grows stronger.
 Why do you need God when you are almost God yourself.. And just a little more and you will become one.

The intoxication of power begins. And this intoxication leads to insanity.

And I went crazy. I sent Bathsheba's husband to war in the epicenter of hostilities.
I didn't want to let Bathsheba out of my hands, so I sent her husband to certain death.

Bathsheba has become the number one person in my life. She turned off my mind. And this state when your mind is turned off completely captured me. And I even got satisfaction from this state.

And so Uriah dies in the war. And it didn't make me cry. On the contrary, a sense of calm came to me. Because I can now legally take Bathsheba to be my wife.

For a while, the feeling of inevitable reckoning kept my soul in anxiety. But nothing bad has happened in my life. And this feeling began to subside.

When Bathsheba became pregnant and was already carrying our child, the anxiety completely eased, and I plunged into an atmosphere of absolute peace and was already convinced that I had done the right thing.

I didn't violate anything, I did everything in accordance with the law.
I did everything honestly. I just married a widow. I comforted a woman whose husband, as a valiant warrior, died in the war.

And now the time was approaching when Bathsheba was to give birth to our baby.

We were all waiting for this event and were preparing to arrange a holiday in honor of the birth of a child.

All the conversations in the palace were only about this momentous event, which was approaching every day.
It was getting closer and closer every day...

And then one day, a few days before the birth of my son, there was a knock on the door.  And by my insight, I felt that the guest who is now standing on the other side of the door did not come with good news.

When everything is fine and nothing worries you, don't relax. Be careful there may be danger ahead or even trouble or retribution for your sins.
Which was delayed by the grace of heaven because Heaven was waiting for your repentance. But you have not done repentance. And now the thunderclap over your head.

And that knock on the door was like a thunderbolt from heaven for me.

The door opened And the prophet of God Nathan entered. He was calm and it was obvious from everything that he had brought something important for me.
 And how else, when the prophets come into your life, they always bring with them some important words. And it's not always what you want to hear.
I began to say something to him in an uneven, trembling voice, not daring for some reason to raise my eyes and look into his face.
Nathan didn't even greet me, but immediately started telling me some strange story.

There were two people in one city, Nathan said, one rich and the other poor.
The rich man had a lot of small and large cattle, and the poor man had nothing but one small sheep, which he bought.
He took care of her, and she grew up with him along with his children. She ate from his plate, drank from his cup, and even slept on his chest. She was like a daughter to him.
 A traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man regretted taking anything from his small or large cattle to cook food for the traveler who came to him. Instead, he took the poor man's lamb and prepared it for the one who came to him.

What a monstrous injustice, I shouted, stopping Nathan's speech.
The person who did this deserves to die!  He has to pay for the lamb fourfold, because he did it and had no compassion.

Then Nathan said to me
– You are that man!
 
This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: "Why did you neglect the word of the Lord, doing evil in His eyes? You struck Uriah with a sword and took his wife as your wife. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites.

And these words are like a thrown spear that hit me in the chest and pinned me to the wall.

I stood there and couldn't move, my breath stopped.

An earthquake was happening in my soul and my face was burning like a young man who was caught doing an indecent thing.

Everything secret became clear. In a moment.

It was stupid to ask the question what are you talking about?

People sometimes begin to deny when they hear the accusation, begin to justify themselves, and sometimes pretend that they do not understand what they are being told.

And thus they pass from sinners to the category of stupid sinners.


When you have sinned, when you have lost, there is no need to prove anything, and nothing to explain.

Just put your head down and stand still. Silently.

No more words. Because it was necessary to say something earlier. And it was necessary to act competently. But you didn't succeed...
Well, then admit defeat. And say This test was too much for me.

Accept this reality. Then only you have a chance to receive forgiveness. Because the one who admits his mistakes can claim the condescension of man and the mercy of Heaven.

"I have sinned before the Lord," I said.

 And although the phrase was so short, repentance in me was lightning fast after the prophet Nathan exposed my sins.

Repentance is not prayers and words, it is a state of the heart.


Nathan replied:
– And the Lord has taken away your sin from you. You're not going to die.

How good everything is, the thought flashed. The Lord has forgiven me.

I confessed my sin and the Lord took it off me.

But that wasn't all.

Nathan hasn't finished his speech yet. And that's what he said next.
Because by doing this, you have shown perfect contempt for the Lord, the son who is born to you will die.

what? the child that will be born....

I'd like to say What you're saying, nathan, let's start your diatribe and I'll accept it, I'll accept everything, I'll agree with everything... but, but just don't mention my baby !

But this was not the moment when I could give orders and command.

I was like a wet chicken in front of the owner. And no one would even pay attention to my growing. I was at the trial and I could only listen to the verdict. Listen  And to know that all this will take place in your life.

This is the same Prophet Nathan who saw me as a teenager.

He came to the house of my father Jesei and anointed me king, which I became after a while.

God saw my pure, kind heart and chose me and entrusted the people to me.

And that's what happened to me years later.

Now Nathan has appeared again so that I can return again to the purity, the purity of the heart that I possessed when I was young.


For seven days I prayed for the child that was born to me by Bathsheba.  I fasted and spent nights lying on the ground. I didn't eat anything. I just cried and prayed. I wanted to fix everything, I wanted to overturn this sentence. I wanted to shield him from the wrath of God. I wanted to... give everything..

But on the seventh day the child died.Did my faith die with him? No, she's not dead. These prayers brought my soul to the surface. And I saw the light. The light of hope. Can death give hope. Maybe, I say, the Prophet David, time will pass and you will understand what I'm talking about.

Death can give hope.
And someone's death can cut your life into before and after.For someone to live, someone needs to die. Maybe someone needs to pull on the accumulated sin and die so that the rest can continue to live.
The death of my son did not harden me. She humbled me. She took off all my arrogance.And I turned to dust and ashes, because humility is what we are saved from sin. Through humility we come under the protection of the Creator and he keeps us on our paths from falling.


And He throws us a lifeline through which we climb out of the pit into which our vanity and constant gratification of our flesh have thrown us.


And when that temptation came, I didn't even notice. Or maybe I answered my mind, come what may. I'll do what I want now. Let my desire be decisive. I will do what I want. I am the king. I'm a man. I am an adult person. Let no one tell me how to live.

And when the time comes to pay for their deeds, all the arrogance flies off and finds some kind of animal fear.

Where does all your arrogance go when the Lord visits.Where does self-confidence go? Where does all your greatness go? Even though you have a mountain of gold, you will not hide behind it from the wrath of God and will not delay your sentence for at least one hour.

You will stand and shake because you were not ready for such a denouement, for such events, for such a reckoning. And you become so small, so insignificant, so vulnerable

Remember this state of yours. This infirmity, this humiliation, to which your sins have led you. Remember forever this disgrace into which you have introduced yourself by your actions. And never again in your life let your passions or your selfishness lead you to this terrifying state.


To be continued..