***

I swallowed your shadow to hide it from my own eyes
And it imprinted on my stomach like an oil spill.
The taste of it haunts me in the darkness of my trashed apartment
And my heart itches whenever I feel petroleum in my breath.
Staging funerals, scratching monstrosities on the gravestone of yours,
Spitting my misery.
All of that to finally obtain peace and yet,
I still lie awake dreaming you this pallid winter night.
What an awful waste of energy to miss somebody
as if there ever was a way back.


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