The matter of today

What are those matters
That I do?
Spontaneous, chaotic?
Not for you.
The only reason is for pleasure,
The only secret - not for mine.
What have I done?
What have I been?
Warum ist alles nicht so wie?
Who was I then?
Who am I now?
My mind won’t bow,
My faith is clear,
But now I am here.
What did I do?
What will I say?
Do not delay
The matters of today.
The words I’ve made,
The thought, produced
By my dismay.
But not today!
Today I rise,
Today I dare.
Today belongs me - I won’t share!
Do not expect
That I will act
The way you may -
You will regret.
Whenever see me on the street,
I might be also doing sh**t,
You may ignore me in your fear.
You may pretend that I’m not here.
You might get blind
With how I shine.
Still I don’t care
To your despair.
You might badmouth behind my back,
You might be gnawing each yourself.
I will present you not a glance,
I will consider not a chance.
I am on the top,
I am on my way,
I am hooked on
The matter of today.