Deserve

“You were there... You were there and did nothing. I was angry with…,” she pronounced in nearly one breath swallowing nervously. “I was angry with you so much that I can barely explain how it was… In one word, it was terrible. I couldn’t control myself, my life. I just felt all that and that was too much. Do you hear me?!” she screamed almost losing her voice. “That was really too much for me. And now? What now? I haven’t seen you for how many years? How many times have I met you in my life at all? Two? Three?! Three damn times! Each of these times, you appeared in my life from nowhere unexpectedly, painfully. And you know…,” she said quickly pointing her finger at him. This time her voice wasn’t choppy. She was determined and straightforward enough to let him know that her decision was non-negotiable. “Each time I wasn’t waiting for you. Now you are standing here in front of me and trying to say what I really need. Do you know what I’ll tell you? Stop! Stop it now! I don’t deserve it and what I truly deserve is to live my life which I actually do.”