Talking To Myself, Notes From Thai Prison

I Read Scattered Notes
About Love & Gratitude
Hope & Forgiveness
Thinking Positive Each Day

But Omnipresent Is a Fear
Fear & Dread
Faith In God Incomplete
Gratitude Weak

Because I Think of Being Crucified
Second Bail Denied
Sentencing Delayed
Bribes Stolen
Greatest Sentence
No Amnesty
Lose My Freedom
Lose Love
Lose Life

Despite Friends
Despite Lower
Despite Visits
Despite $
Despite Healing
Despite Mails

The Worst Case Scenario May As Well
Be Real...
Because I Living As It Is


How Do I Shift?

I'm Still In Wanting
I Want Bail
I Want Freedom Soon
I Want Living
& I Know Here
I Never
Ever
Get What I Want

I Need To Want What I Have
I Have Health
I Have Chances
I Have Uncertainty
I Have Potential For a Life Long Love
I Have The Making Of A Book

I Have To Go Through This Time To Manifest The Potential Into Reality

But The Fear Of The Unavoidable Long Sentences Permeates All. THE WAITING FOR IT. Wouldn't It Be Better To Make Believe... I'll Be Just Fine?

Is That Faith In God?

I Need To Be Happy With Nothing!!!


Carlos Augusto Lopes de Almeida