To my beloved - last verse

I write. I breathe. I hurt. I love.
I touch. I kiss. I will remember.
To lose someone sent from above
Is throwing everything to embers.
I keep. I pray. I win. I lose.
I feel. I think. I hope. I measure.
You were the best I'd ever choose,
My one and only highest pleasure.
I used to wait. I used to search.
I used to be your lonely shadow.
From my conception till my birth
I knew how fatally you'd matter.
It's destiny that we have lost,
It's destinations fast forgotten,
To be the best, to be the worst,
To spend your time with those who flatter.
A game. A passion. Silent fear
Of never getting any higher...
You were so close, you were so near,
you were the object of desire.
I'm cold. I'm fallen. I am lost.
I'm free - wide open for adventures.
But in my life you were the first
With bright thoughts and a true intention.
I fear not finding anyone
As smart as you, as warm and tender,
As generous, just like the sun,
And the best things will stay forever.

© Maryna Tchianova