No fear

I've never been great at goodbyes,
I have no idea how to let people go.
I'm not asking for help or any advice,
I don't know what's right anymore.

I've been running away for too long,
Escaping from facing my fears…
Wherever I go, it seems to be wrong.
Again: here I am, I cannot disappear.

The truth is the simplest and bitter:
I'm afraid of the thought to be all alone,
I'm not a survivor, just a regular quitter
Too scared to deal with life on my own.

I get too attached, I am not moving on
Stuck in the suffering phase for a while,
Until feelings fade, until everything’s gone,
But not all the memories I wish to exile.

Memories stay and chase me around,
Savored before, they become painful.
Forming somehow my solid ground,
They keep me away from staying stable.

I am making a promise: since now
I’m not running away from my mind.
It’s easy to say “I don’t know how”
But nobody would if they never tried.

I will get on the plane not to get lost,
I will go to be found and discovered.
I will finally do what I fear the most:
My thoughts and I. Bare, uncovered.