***

Those ones are lucky, who never feel worthless;
It's true, no matter what you try to say.
Those ones are lucky, who never feel mirthless;
It's better for them, just pick any day,

When all of my feelings are holding me back
And every beginning just comes to an end.
Although I was trying,I gave into slack,
There's no one to blame or even offend

How different from what I've imagined, I thought
That all of this ugly and gore-looking present
Has nothing to do nor with me, nor my lot,
But what a surprise, there's something unpleasant!

And it is that I was the root of this rot,
And from the beginning I was the solution.
And if I can find some string, I will knot
Myself with a promise, I'll reach the ablution.

It will stop the rotting and heal all the cuts,
It would be so cleansing and would be so lifting.
It might even give me the strength and the guts
To stop being care-free and stop being shifty.

Whatever will happen, will happen, we'll see
Or I, I'm not totally sure,
But something is different and it is in me,
Or maybe I simply inured.
02.12.2017