Curse of no Valhalla

1
replacing lie with lie pain is a quick bright flash
it doesn't let believe how soon it turns to ash
and rotting - endless summer of the damned
the sanctuary of sloth
where you have fear to defile
and you get used to artificial smile
it seems too natural, too needful, too essential
but deep inside is slowly killing your potential
your life becomes the endless bible of consumer
and if you try to break your cage you'd rest under its ruins

every curiosity is stealing time
but without it all the time is useless

replacing lie with lie pain is a quick bright flash
mind's born in fight but lost itself in endless clash
you will forget during defense what you appreciate
without an enemy without a soulmate

invisibly and suddenly the emptiness has saved me one more time
however contradiction is still on the other side of the same side

Hungry for powerful desire, tired of the hunger
You’d never be as free as you are only six feet under

===
and that is not a pose
the fate of prophet is too hard
I'd better never know the truth than be misunderstood
the eye will never close
but sun of truth will never rise
born just to suffer now why didn't know it from the start?

no hand to lead me still except from random hand of doom
The more it's heresy the more I feel the truth in it
there must be power to stand by but I don't know by whom
I can see no result but mission has to be complete

2
Why can't I simply die?
Why do I ask this question so often?
Why in the time of wandering I never get the omen?

why don't I fall in clash and go to Valhalla
if I do not win
why can't I find the power to respect
if I am not a queen?

the gates are open
but the rays of Ra can't reach the hall
the shadows whisper that I win each time I do not fall

don't wait for answer from the skies
it is inside of you
and if the part of you still dies
there is no time for new

no flame of rage just worms in coffin of the heart
there is still what to fight
and what to fight for
there are still weapons
I only do not have a teacher for this secret martial art

the gates are open
but the rays of Ra can't reach the hall
the shadows whisper that I win each time I do not fall
the candles scream I win when after falling manage to rise
But I cannot distinguish light from darkness and the truth from lies
===

Such singer as you is always a warrior
But no Valhalla for you’s prepared
You're born to cross the barrier after barrier
Become as strong as more you're scared

But what this strength is for
Do I live just for getting stronger?
As we are building more and more
Just to destroy what perfect is no longer

the sanctuary of sloth
where you have fear to defile
still dreaming of escape and scared of exile
the priests and warriors destroying altar gates
mighty creator lost control of what he still creates

the rider of Pale Horse
knows only name for all the beasts
the feasts and wars
the clashes on the feasts
the feasts in times of war
wars in the name of feast
maybe it’s better than routine
just other kind of the routine