Looking for Evil

LOOKING FOR EVIL

So I went to the devil, as you had me sent that fine morning,
Though it might be mistake or a kind of provocative joke.
But a sudden misdeed often turns into sudden exploring.
And I asked myself: what it was that you tried to provoke?

What it was I heard always when reached some invisible border?
What it is that we fear from our born up to this very end?
What it is we obey as some ghastly invincible order
And so swiftly turn backs, and so humbly and piously bend?

So I went to the devil for this mere bit of exploring,
To discover the things that we certainly knew were so bad,
Try their badness at taste and be perished or restored,
And to learn by experience weather we need crying sad.

And I made me a sinner, a traitor, a slave - once and double,
And I lose all my wealth, all my honor, and reason, and shame.
I was hunter for Death, I was merciless looker for Trouble,
I strode into the Crime and jumped directly into the Flame.

But the instant I stepped into something looked awful or crushing,
Just that moment when pain seemed to kill me and smash into dust,
When I kept BEING HERE, off avoiding, lamenting or rushing, -
I found out pain turned into fathom and vanished at last.

And while days changed days, and while roads changed roads,
As I sincerely tried to find something deserving my fear,
I found out that something inside me fell touched and adored,
And some reasonless beauty filled mind and had washed it clear.

And I couldn’t avoid these charms, nor forbid ‘em,
Couldn’t help me from falling in love with all things that I tried.
And instead of the Hell I came up to the gates of the Eden,
And instead of the Bad I found only the Sun shining bright.

I was frank and acute in my quest for this fabulous Evil.
And a stranger once told me that this very piece was mistake,
For to find out Danger one has to adore self-deceiving,
And to find out Wicked one mustn’t be truly awake.

27th, August, 2014.


NOTE:
Конкурс на поэтический перевод Looking for Evil на русский по-прежнему открыт!!!