Midnight confession to emptiness

Already for a long I keep on laughing
Without a smile at those who keep searching for
The second part of themselves
As I know too well they cannot be found
I don't wanna more hope in vain
Hope as a fool, as I know admiration
Is all or nothing at all.

My only hope to be saved from the world
Just by the one now's a ghost
Still so important but without a prove
As dreams and memories fade
Bare is the carcass and nothing can bring it alive
Except from miracle
Thought without visions are bones - supernatural
Maybe can all that restore

And world again charms and leads to delusions
Although from now I don't trust it so much
Silent and calm, be contended with little
Then to discover it was self-deceive

Pretending to not all who you are really
Is no easier when believe this play is true
When the emotions you get are as strong
As the pressure and rivers of tears

I see too much to stay calm or sarcastic
And too less to know on whom 's worth to rely
Can't cross the limits of my personality
But as I think I discover the shades
Numerous shades of a desperate thought
Can't cross the limits of my personality
But seek to be in your vision complete

Loneliness keeps the dark labyrinths open
We hate the ones who thinks different often
And all the others - despise or forget
Or become envious - forcelessly envious
Too much depends not on us
Too much responsibility
Even before yourself

I isolate all the world from myself
Stare at it through the grating of cage
Looking glass is just reaction behaviour
Freedom is dangerous as it consists
Searching for different kinds of mind slavery
Subconosciously or even not

I remember rather humorous advice
"Change your place if you are not a tree"
But we all somehow are trees
With the roots - who dissagrees?
Or the main is truly not to see with eyes
Or nobody has a gift to see
...
Ideal that can make existance valuble again