In my dreams

In my dreams I join the feast
Find you in the crowd of passers-by
In my dreams I have at least
A last chance to justify
In my dreams
I do my best
just to please you
In my dreams I feel the zest
of your breath
right up to death
In my dreams I wake up earlier than you
In the first rays of sunrise
Just to prepare
You a surprise
I am watching you sleep
I stare
With the trembling in spine
I don't need any sun
When your smiles at me shine
And I bring you your breakfast to bed
I imagine my dress - it would be bloody red
I imagine my death - in one coffin with you...

In my dreams you bite me
And I fall into a faint
In my dreams you heal me with one touch just like a saint
After such long time apart - not with a touch but with one sight
In my dreams I feel again your power and might

In my dreams
We walk the streets
Hand in hand
In my dreams we are together right until and after end
But the dreams are only flying sand
Mixed with invisible blood
wandering in the dark,
As Noah's Arc
During the Second Flood

I am destined to truck
the uncertain way
of eternal rolling stone
Almost all alone
Into outer space thrown
You're my first and last luck
Precious destiny's gift
You're the only whom I totally believed

Would they all curse me?
Would they all listen to me?
Would they all understand me?

Now I nearly do not mind.
Know that I would only find
You in the fabric of landscape
Where I only may escape
But the nature will stay, always further go
Nearly the same as long ago
She in me, me in her depersonalized
And You're high a Person, I realized
Alien origin but totally nonfiendish
Not artistic is easy to distinguish
All the others just random imitation
Train of thought will turn back to this final station

My friend. My master. My god. My boss.
My slavedriver.
My daddy.
There are no words
to fully decribe your greatness and excelence.
There are no words
to explain all my feelings to you, my attitude and my devotion.
Sweet slavery of my soul just dying to hear your call.
I murmur like a little girl.
Use me, punish me, teach me, protect me...
I beg you humbly, for noone may replace you, although I cannot make you do with me what I want. So behave with me as You wish, just at least don't forfid me to love you...
Scream at me, give me the hardest tasks, finally kill me, but only let me feel your presence, know that you still exist, believe in you without doubts.
Sweet state of my slavery is already a price of my service.
I don't see you, don't hear you, don't get any news
from you and without your guiding light
I'm feeling blind, deaf and isolated from everything I need.
To live without you is like to live in prison without fresh air, without sunlight and moonlight.
This society, this place, this time - they from me you stole, they from you me stole, without a return, as a huge black hole

I cannot hide
It from everyone
I cannot hide
from it anywhere
It is like a stamp
Lonely as a tramp
If tis weird let them stare
I do not care
With your eye X-rays
I don't need any sun
What could I say for embrace?
So let me dive into nightmare
If there would wait your face