How do I?

I want to be loved
I want to give my love
But at the same time I fear
To let somebody near
This heart is nothing but scars
This soul is nothing but bruises
I'm so used to losing
So I'm really scared to try
I push people away
I call myself heartless
But the truth is
I'm too scared to crash and burn

So what do I do?
How do I make my walls come down?
How do I let my guard down?
How do I open up my heart?
How do I walk out of the dark?

There was never a time I asked for help
I'm so used to doing things by myself
Everyone's intimidated
Because I'm so fucking independent
But don't get me wrong
I'm proud of that
I'm just tired, really
No one understands that
I'm so tired of hearing
"You're so fucking great
But I'm just not worthy"
I'm not a fucking threat

So what do I do?
How do I make my walls come down?
How do I let my guard down?
How do I make you fucking see?

For now, I'll stay alone
It's better to deal with shit on my own
For now, my walls won't fall down
For now, I won't let my guard down
It's better to just stay alone
I'll learn how to do more shit on my own