The Outlined In The Lack Of Complacence 05. 08. 16

…Для этого мира я умер давно,
Сквозь Тьму обретая призванье
Лишь памяти горькой порою дано
Тревожить моё подсознанье
Забвением стерты и милых черты,
И радость, и боль, и конфликты...
Всё пепел. Надежды и даже мечты
Давно превратились в реликты
Пусть миру на всех нас забить и забыть -
Уклад сей я вряд ли порушу
Да только зачем же так хочется выть
Едва заглянув миру в душу?

Sometimes we are mute not 'cause there's nothing to say
But 'cause scarce some will catch on the gist of our way
As for me, I no longer enlighten or share
My emotions and knowledge with those, who don't care

The hereafter has turned from the hope to the threat
And a lot of things gender the bitter regret
I know none e'er will comfort me here anymore
For my dreams have expired in the far days of yore

Now for them sounds the dirge and the church's sextons knoll
Now for them hewn the ossuary deep in my soul
But I still wish to travel in time and move back
From the present's air stale and the life's water slack

Back to where everybody I loved are alive
Maybe e'en to the origin in 95
When my grief in her outbreak appealed to the skies
...The affections may fade but the first never dies...

It's quite strange to imagine it all was with me -
The condition next door to the felo-de-se
There began my creation - in anguish and woe
...To soar high you must fall and uprise from below

My fair muses... I owe them my sorrowful rhymes,
My tired brains safe and several unacted crimes
And so much the worse that in my being's black night
I feel no more complacency from what I write

And it seems for an aeon I walk the dead zones
Through the spaces bereft of the masking half-tones
Everything looks inimical, ugly and grim
To the drained ditch transforms my wild consciousness' stream

The disgust of the glum materiality - thus
I'd describe this existence destructive for us
While mankind deems the nature's laws they did surpass,
I can state the humane evolution's impasse.

And I've really unlearned to accept joy and fun
There is no warmth for me in the light of the sun
The diurnal routine to which I'm disinclined
Is malign and pernicious for my haggard mind

Without means to support my dark spirit and flesh
For the late years I threw many truths to the trash
I trust not, I fear not, I don't beg and don't wait
The old age's washed my prospects away like a spate

The ambivalent senses I have for my dear
Since she left my ground, our correlation did veer
There's a desert between our hearts - sere and adust
It is burning to ashes our passion and lust

...Once again at the bygone youth taking a look,
I see my wharf unbroken, my wood and my brook
But these blear retrospects cannot help and can't save
From the fierce powers dragging us straight to the grave

Yet the welkin is raven, the rain's cold and wet
And I'm not so reliant the future's not set
For the decades I tried hard, I kicked the stone wall
But could not cut off even the tiniest spall

I don't think I o'ervalue my fate is attached
To the woman though our love's initially wretched
And I stay on my path leading past the mad hordes
...Those, who don't get my silence, will not heed my words...

Photo by Mousa. PicsArt