I want you to go For Rus. K

I keep spelling your name like a spell,
And it's making me feel like alive,
And forgetting whole world and myself,
And believing that I still can fly..

What the magic was used so hard
That for years I'm calling your name,
Even knowing all from the start,
Even seeing you cannot be same..

I've chosen to keep you as a dream,
For it kills being hopeful in vain.
I don't want you to hear my scream
When no more I can bear this pain.

I don't want you to know how hurts
Of yours' empty words fiercest sword.
I don't want you to see all the kerfs
That it made on my heart, always sore.

Everytime I'm convincing myself
It is just some delusion of mine,
And I'm trying to take off the spell
Out my heart which objects it and minds.

You're the only my weakness which stays,
Others I had successfully thrown.
Doesn't matter what I do or say
You're there with no one in 'row.

Now I'm begging you for let me go.
I need leave all behind and move on,
So my castle wouldn't hosting your ghost
I'm not frightened being on my own.