Limericks

-    $    -


There was an old person named Q,
Who said, "That's the hell of a Q!..-
                ‘I've been standing in it
                ‘5 months and a bit -
‘Will there be any end -
                I asQ?!!"



-    @    -


                To Rini,
                Deepak Bhatnagar's daughter


There was a young lady named Rini,
Who was so remarkably tini,
            That she really woss
            Able to hide in the moss;
So her Dad used to call her
                Ri - mini.



-    @    -


There was a young Lady of Zurich,
Who said, 
"Geben, bitte, Brot fur Ich!"
               When they cried,
               "Watch your Grammar!"
She replied,
               "All the Sammer!" -
That irregular Lady of Zurich.



-    $    -


There was an Old Person whose habbit
Was to ride an Australian Rabbit.
When asked,
               "Why 
                don't you dare
       ‘Try    
            an Austrian Hare?"
He replied,
             "Give me one -
              I will Grabbit!.."



-    #    -


There was an old person
                whose actions
Had always complied
                with instractions
               Until before death
               He exclaimed,
                "What an eath
I've been
to avoid
satisfactions!.."



-    $    -


There was an old man of Chicago,
Who never could make his old cago.
            But they said,
                "First you gotta
            ‘Put inside it a motta! -
‘You technicious old man of Chicago!.."



-    #    -


There was a young Kettle of Fish,
Who once was engaged to a Dish.
Quoth the Dish,
"What I wish
‘Is to fish
For your fish,
‘My profishious
young Kettle of Fish!.."



-    #    -


There was a young person of Greece,
Who murdered his aunt and his neece.
               For such an excess
               He was sentenced to dess
And he cried, "I'll soon meet'em  -
                'tis bleece!.."



-    *    -


There was a young boy with a Tail,
Who unconsciously sat on a Rail.
He turned perfectly pale,
After, with no fail,
Train
had come
and had cut off
his Tail.



-    @    -


There was an old couple whose daughter
One day
          ran away,
But they caughter.
Said they,
            "'Tis not the way
             ‘To commit runaway!
‘Listen, what's to be done!" -
              And they taughter.



-    $    -


There was a young person named Andy,
Who fed upon candy & brandy.
Being treated with bread
Caused him shrinkle with dread,
While his stomach got perfectly
                sandy.



-    @    -


There was a young person named Peter
Who drank very many a leter
               Of Vodka and Jin   
               And muttered, 
                "Chin-chin!
"Tis good,
                but I wish
                it were neter!.."



-    #    -


There was a young boy of Tashkent,
Who smoked exclusively 'Kent'.
And they sighed:
                "Nevermore
 ‘He will smoke 'Belomore' -
 ‘That ambitious young boy
                of Tashkent!.."



-    *    -


There was a young person named Mark,
Always horny and ready to fark.
So, seeing his Cock,
Everyone got a Shock -
Which delighted that person named Mark.



*    + *


There was a young girl of Mayfair,
To whom her boy-friend was unfair,
As he said, "I would rather
‘Fuck your sister and mather,
‘But to fuck you
                I would never dair!"



-    #    -


There was a young person, who came
And asked his bedmate,
"What's your name?
              ‘You are good to sleep with,
              ‘But I wonder who ith
            ‘Lying here - 
a man
or a dame?!."



-    #    -


                FAREWELL
                /impromptu/


There was a young person named V,
Who said to his friends,
                "C'est la vie! -
‘We shall part very soon,
‘But some fine afternoon..." -

Please
         complete this small poem
                for me!..