I don t deserve this...

I don't deserve this. I know I don't deserve this
But for you I'm always guilty, for you I just know nothing
I ain't understanding these love words that you whisper
Mired in your illusions, mired in all you're saying

You say you love me, I hear you cry 'you love me'
But why all is so cruel, why main goal is 'hurting'
Put me on my knees and laughing hard as you can
I know you saw me bleeding but all you felt is 'nothing'

But I'll go up you know I can grind all the pain
Though it's so painful.. just why you never love me
I beggin for compassion but you never hear
Little girl who wants feel safe - it's me

You say it's all fair, all what's ever happened
But say it looking on me, say it looking in eyes
I know you punish, it's punishment for my love
But it's all illusion, your hatred is your weakness...

Hear me, please hear me now at least
I need you to feel more whole, need to feel you near
Say what you're destroying, what is hiding inside
Just whisper 'I accept you', just whisper 'I'm loving'

But I'll go up, you know I can grind all the pain
Though it's so painful.. just why you never love me
I beggin for compassion but you never hear
Little girl who wants feel safe - it's me...