They say to attract money u need to love yourself

They say to attract money u need to love yourself
But i don't even know what self love is

I used to exercise in the mornings and massage myself
But then i got a terrible back pain
And low energy
So low
That i stopped treating myself
With massage and exercise

Then i thought that self love is all about proper diet
And so i went raw vegan with one thousand enemas up my butt
To clean my brain and purge myself of old believes

But every time i saw cheese or a piece of bread
i felt like i'm denying myself these little pleasures
And so i ate bread, and cheese, and dosa, and potato
After that i did not shit for three days
And got even more confused

I tortured myself and turned myself inside out
But my life did not shift a bit
Kryon says: Earth has changed,
But her surroundings have not.
This is true about me
I have changed completely, but my life has not

I asked the universe to give me lots and lots of money
But got nothing
I asked my higher self to answer me at least once
But got silence
I tried to see my aura but saw darkness
I tried to look at the sun
But got wrinkled and dry.

After all my searches i do not know what self love is
And what love is
I do not know how to manifest money and abundance
In my kingdom of scarcity and futility
I feel that as such my life is not worse living
I explored my poverty thoroughly
And there is nothing left for me to explore any more
And so i bid farewell
Fuck you all
Angels and demons
Useless crap