The Art of Pick-Up Lines

TRAIN STATION - EVENING

Jenna is sitting on a bench waiting for her train and Tom comes up to her.

TOM

I saw you sitting all alone
And sadly playing with your phone.
I thought I’d come and say “Hello”

JENNA

(attempts to politely end the conversation)

That’s very kind of you, but no,
I’m simply waiting for my train.
 
TOM

(sits next to Jenna and takes her hand)

You do not have to hide your pain.
Your soul is lonely, so is mine,
It’s time for them to intertwine.

JENNA

(takes her hand away and moves from Tom)

It’s time for you to leave in peace
Before I have to call police.

TOM

(gets on his knee and pulls a rose from his jacket)

But don’t you feel the passion rise?
Come closer, look into my eyes!
What do you see?

JENNA

A creepy guy?

TOM

(gets up with attitude and throws the rose in the audience)

So you’ll just let our feelings die
Without giving them a chance
To fill your essence with romance?

JENNA
(sarcastically)
I think I will, although it’s hard,
Live miserably, but apart.

TOM

(sits next to Jenna, looking devastated)

And leave our goals unfulfilled?
But what about the house we’d build,
Where we would spend our happy days?
The pets we’d buy? The kids we’d raise?
The jobs we’d quit for better life?

JENNA

How many kids?

TOM

I wanted five.

JENNA

Five kids?! You crazy? That’s a lot!

TOM

I think it’s worth at least a shot.
Let’s try until we have a boy,
Besides, the process we’ll enjoy.

JENNA

Which job you’re thinking you should quit?

TOM

The one where all I do is sit.
Where hemorrhoids pose a risk.
And I need something fun and brisk.
I make a million a year,
Have a respectable career,
But so much time and so much stress,
That I would settle for much less.
And love is all I really need.

JENNA

But don’t we have five kids to feed?

TOM

You said five kids was way too much!

JENNA

I might have panicked in the clutch.
I think that five would be just right.

TOM

When should we start?

JENNA

We can tonight.

TOM

Your place or mine?

JENNA

I thought we’re one?

TOM

You’re moving in?

JENNA

Tomorrow.

TOM

Done.

JENNA

I have a pet.

TOM

What kind?

JENNA

A horse. I’ll take her with me?

TOM

Yes, of course.
I have a sheep. They’ll get along.

JENNA

I start to see that we belong.
We’re not that different at core!
I cannot wait to hear some more.

TOM

You know that I’m a millionaire,
So now you also have to share.
Tell me, what do you to for work?

JENNA

Oh... I professionally twerk.
I knew my calling was a stage!

TOM

And may I ask you, what’s your wage?

JENNA

Enough for cars in the garage,
For daily stylists and massage,
For shoes and clothes from Michael Kors,
For wax and manicures, of course,
For monthly visits oversees
To France, to England and to Greece.
For my collection of antique
And girls nights out every week.

TOM

(appears intimidated)

Oh, wow, I never would have guessed.
I must admit that I’m impressed.
I thought that twerking was a joke.
Time to admit that I am broke.
I’m not a millionaire at all.
I’m just a sales guy at a mall.
I don’t make much and I’m in school.
Don’t have a sheep, don’t have a mule,
I only have a guinea pig.
And my apartment isn’t big.

JENNA

The truth is I don’t have a car,
Although my job is really far.
I have no shoes from Michael Kors,
Have no antiques and have no horse.
I’ve never even been to France.

TOM

I’d like to ask you for a chance
To let me take you on a date,
Where we together can create
The world we’ll maybe get to share.
What do you think?

JENNA

(smiles)

Say when and where.

          THE END