Alan Johnson is a dick

Alan Johnson is a dick
During his entire week.
He’s mysteriously tough -
Never saw him having laugh.
He’s got comfy leather chair,
Pair of shoes beyond compare,
Shiny bimer for a drive,
That's all I know about his life.
Alan Johnson - what a chap!
Suit and tie - same boring wrap…
Some admire him for rank
But hey, this boss deserves his wank!
Please, forgive me my reaction,
But he attempted THE SEUDUCTION
Of my favourite of men!
HE TRIED TO FILCH MARK CORRIGAN!
Plus he made poor Jez upset…
What a cunning snobbish rat!
All in all, he’s not the worse,
Using his commanding force.
Jeff – true evil in disguise,
Which pretends to be so nice!
He’s the greatest of them twats
If I could only reach his nuts!
Anyway, enough protest!
I’ll say “fuck”... You think the rest!
One more thing I cannot grasp
Well, Hands and Jeff – no blame, just grass
But Mark and Alan – there’s no way!
So, Johnson, tell me: Are you gay?


2005