practice

& now I resume
I mean, I resume
my old habit of practicing

for many years,
in fact,
for the most part of my life
I’ve been practicing

I wanted to be a musician, you know

it's no easy thing
to want to be a musician
being just another kid
in a poverty stricken town
in the middle of nowhere

everyone was mad those days
revolution 
crisis
fear
uncertainty

getting on your nerves those things
yeah
your folks go crazy too
they don't know

well after becoming a musician
I got to the metropolis
lucky devil
& started wanting to be a star

every day
no breaks
no holidays
I was practicing

sometimes I even counted hours
6 hours a day, 8 hours
such a stupid thing to do
but everyone did it

they wanted it all no less than me
or maybe much more

well then

successful shows
tiny successes of an unknown player
bitter regrets & sweet vodka at night -
that’s bad shows, you know
don’t worry man shit happens

o yes

I quit for weeks & months
started again thinking of stardom
or anyway this is my profession damn it all

time passed
things happened
I’m not sure I ever wanted it
all this musical shit was kinda substitute you know

you never get the real thing
you never get the real thing
get real then!

go hang yourself!
why the fuck are you smiling?!

so now
I resume my old practicing routine
in a calm way
getting nowhere
for no reason at all