Last night

I stayed wide awake for the whole night through,
I was counting stars and silent tunes sung of you.
I took imagined paintbrush and sketched your eyes,
I didn’t notice how fast flew that sleepless night.

I thought of us and everything that failed to work,
That was destined to please but brought many hurts.
I asked those memories to linger on a little more
But instead saw a wicked shadow on a wooden floor.

Last night I realized how stubborn I used to be,
I wouldn’t have broken the silence born deep in me,
I wouldn’t have made the most important step ahead
But stood as a dummy with doubts stuck in my head.

Nobody’s fault, it simply had no chance to happen,
Approaching too close we used forbidden weapon,
When selfishness ruled we simply changed the course
Not to cut ourselves upon the blooming rose thorns.

Alas, we cut and bleeding scars still hurt the flesh,
We threw the deepest feelings into basket like trash,
We tore the memories to shreds without looking back,
Multiplied egos and we’ve deviated from usual track.

Last night my thoughts buzzed like restless bees,
Pulling my blanket over, I looked into depth of me,
I saw my faults, wasted time and smiled somehow,
No remorse for my past 'cause I still love in my now.

October, 15, 2013