This sorrow which makes heart aching...

*           *          *
This sorrow which makes heart aching
Is old as time, both blessed and killing:
You live, you laugh and you feel happy
But know nothing of my being.

You are apart, you disappear.
Why not take pity? Have you ever?
You are somewhere, far from here.
Impossible to be together.

My malady forbids to hover -
It's useless to regret past, missing.
I am not able to recover
For remedy is not existing.

But you exist - and don't know
That you can be somebody's healing.
It's not your fault - but of my soul
Which can't get rid of this damned feeling.

And here - is my native town,
It's cold and empty, like my fortune.
You don't even know how
I long to be with you, my torture.

What's left to me? The expectation.
And nothing else but grievous pain.
And I repeat - as adjuration:
"It's Christmas. Try to live again".

But can I live with heart afire?
Just noiseless words from my lips flow
Like dream, like prayer and desire:
"Some day...Some time, please, let him know".
                December, 15, 2013.