We are so happy - I was telling

‘We are so happy’ - I was telling.
‘This is so hard’ - you strictly said.
But things and time, it’s all just changing,
Now all alone I'm in my bed.

I've hit you, cried and screamed ‘I hate you!’, -
You tried to comfort me, calm down.
But while you did this heart was breaking,
The world fell pieces all around.

This moment something broke between us,
Just leaving ice behind footsteps.
I lost it all at once, you - later.
Seems there is nothing to expect.

It is too calm to be surviving
And balancing on edge of split.
But every time I think of break up,
It feels for me as real heart-hit.

I am attacked with my own matters,
And by your words I get cold sweat.
And though it is so hard to save us -
I can’t let go...I can not let!

Your coldness bents me, silence - squeezes.
I can’t step forward when you slap.
I know that now I can be giving,
Unless you push me, widen gap.

I want to fix us, make all stable.
I can not balance on the edge!
I need decisions, I need answers!
I want to make a newly pledge.

You closed from me - I can not hear you.
You are not talking - my heart bleeds.
I do not want to have it all just like this.
You are my drug and vital need.

But I don’t know where should I go now,
What should I do, how to break through.
I am surrounded by not see-through
Brick walls and there is nothing I can do.

It is ridiculous and simple,
But simultanously too deep
To solve it with a phone call/message
When heart is cold or when it weep.

I think I’m lost in all intrigues,
In all our arguing and hits.
The love is buried under quarrels
And only weakens with heartbeat.

I want to hear you calmly breathing
When you are near, when you deep-sleep.
I want to see you first in morning
And after kiss to get small creep.

I need your help - I can not solve it.
I need your love and your support.
Without your back dreams will go ashes…
I don’t want us to make abort.