When God created things and flesh -
Had He created forms?
Or just by simply calling - Lion -
A Lion had been born -
With lion's traits and lion's fit,
A love of raw meat,
The knowledge of a prairie hunt,
A fight in him to breed.
And when He made Adam and Eve
Like lions we were born?
Or therе were ingredients -
So we can build and learn?
When God created things and flesh
© Copyright: Саша Казаков, 2013
Свидетельство о публикации №113031402850
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Премило. Вот- замечания:
HAd He creatED a form?
Or just by simply calling - Lion -
A Lion haD been born -
With lion's traits and lion's fit,
A love of rAw meat,
The knowledge of a prairie hunt,
A fight in him to breEd.
Галина Иззьер 17.03.2013 00:24 • Заявить о нарушении
HAd He creatED a form?
Or just by simply calling - Lion -
A Lion haD been born -
With lion's traits and lion's fit,
A love of rAw meat,
The knowledge of a prairie hunt,
A fight in him to breEd.
Галина Иззьер 17.03.2013 00:24 • Заявить о нарушении
Спасибо, рад улыбнуть.:))
И отдельно за замечания.
Саша.
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 01:11 Заявить о нарушении
И отдельно за замечания.
Саша.
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 01:11 Заявить о нарушении
Вот английский перевод - Мотива не мой - не знаю чей.
Саша
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 01:35 Заявить о нарушении
Саша
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 01:35 Заявить о нарушении
I sing because the moment exists
and my life is complete.
I am not happy nor sad;
I am a poet.
Brother of the ephemeral
I do not feel joy nor agony.
I cross nights and days
in the wind.
Whether I break down or build up,
whether I stay or disperse,
-I don't know, I don't know. I don't know if I stay
or walk away.
I do know that I sing. And the song is everything.
It has the eternal blood of a rhythmic wing.
One day I know I will be mute:
-nothing more
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 01:36 Заявить о нарушении
and my life is complete.
I am not happy nor sad;
I am a poet.
Brother of the ephemeral
I do not feel joy nor agony.
I cross nights and days
in the wind.
Whether I break down or build up,
whether I stay or disperse,
-I don't know, I don't know. I don't know if I stay
or walk away.
I do know that I sing. And the song is everything.
It has the eternal blood of a rhythmic wing.
One day I know I will be mute:
-nothing more
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 01:36 Заявить о нарушении
Значит Ваши изменения были сознательными,но они оставлют некоторую не связку между первыми строчками.
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 03:15 Заявить о нарушении
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 03:15 Заявить о нарушении
Я прочел complete as завершена - т тогда некотрая печаль втрой строчки орпавдана и конец оправдан.
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 20:58 Заявить о нарушении
Саша Казаков 17.03.2013 20:58 Заявить о нарушении