Ten thousand drums

Ten thousand drums are beating in my head,
Million bells are ringing in my palpitating chest,
You see me smiling? It`s impossible… I`m dead.
I`m ready to give up, it seems I`ve done my best.
Ten thousand drums don`t let me fall asleep,
Insomnia has chained all my conscience for so long,
I`ve got no strength to smile radiantly or to weep,
I love my loneliness but damn, I`m not alone.
No regrets for what I said or done before,
There`s seal on feelings in the thrown envelope,
What was open is locked behind impenetrable door,
What was obvious is now thrown in ocean hope.
Ten thousand drums are beating so stubbornly,
But once I dared to let those pure feelings in,
Since thread of love is loosened, cut off suddenly,
I realize it`s just impossible to love a southern wind.
It`ll burn your skin after the final sensual touch,
It`ll take away the part of you and then subside,
And what is left when you`re in love so much?
Bitter tears in pillow at latest hour of night…
Ten thousand drums are beating non-stop,
Like hail of bullets in already wounded chest,
Killed by words, by circulating in my brain love,
Looking back, it seems I haven`t done my best.
I`ve accustomed to the sound of drums and bells,
I fall asleep so peacefully under their nagging clatter,
Do I know you properly? Do I feel you well?
But I love you fiercely, don`t feelings only matter?
- Svetlank@ -