Our memories

If I haven't known him since our childhood, then I would be for sure frightened of his stone face expression and wicked blink in his deep silvery eyes from the very first glance. All his appearance made people near him twitch and eye him with paranoidal nervousness. In other words he was a live monument of a great pressure and as dreadful as an unavoidable storm. One quick glance of him literally made people frozen, like prey met a hunter. But opposite his whole gloomy aura, he was just a man of few words, who was too shy to show to everyone around his romantic nature that was pretty easy to embarass. After all, his one and only choice was to pretend the mask he wore was his true identity: cold, strong and straight-headed. To let anybody know who he for truth was, meant the death for his reputation, so I was the lucky one that possessed that secret of his. And it was so pleasurable to know about his endless trust for me.

His name was Ed. Years ago his mom called him “Eddie”, but when you see a walking tower would you dare to call it like this? Yep, he was about 2 meters height in his twenties. When I was just a first year student in local technical university, he already had a job and his own apartment, ‘cause he started to work since highschool age. If you ask how could we be friends with him, I won’t answer. I don’t know. Me, ordinary 18-year student without any interesting or outstanding sides, and him, big and poker-faced man, which you can give not twenty but all twenty eight years for his appearance. But we had some things in common – we both loved drawing. Can you imagine your friend, after reading some book you’ve already read, will bring you wonderful colored handmade illustrations? Like your fantasies come true. It were unforgettable moments, when we sat near and argued about some lines in his pictures. Mine drawings were not so beautiful but for some reason he kept it in small box in his room. We lived not so far from each other and often walked together, chatting about all in the world. But that time he wasn’t so frightening. Just a teen with unusually serious eyes. Sometimes, when he spaced out, thinking about something very interesting, I was staring at his face, every time surprised with his glittering orbs. I wasn’t envy but it was so strange – such a beautiful adolescent with only me at his side. Why he’d been all alone? It made me kind of happy and proud. I could thought about our relationship like about something special. And when we went to school, he always escorted me to my class and only after that went to his own. It’s despiseable to say but I was like a bodyguard or shield for him back then, keeping him as far as possible from everyone around… I was jealous. Though we were in different classes, we’ve been together at lunchtime and never had gone back from school separately. Best of friends. Of course, we had secrets from each other but it wasn’t important because… who haven’t it? We were so close that time and even could accidentally fell asleep together and then met the morning in the mad rush preparing to school. I loved time when he was with me. When the one of us felt sick, another was near, ready to help, cheering and healing. But when I had a full family, where I was loved by mom, dad and little bro, he had only his mother. Very strange woman I felt uncomfortable with. She was all the time unnaturally pale and seemed to be ill and unhappy. So thin and with forced smile. I truly didn’t understand her. But Ed adored her. His eyes shined when he looked at her and then he made such a brilliant smile that I was biting my tongue and wanted him to smile like that for me too. We were such an innocent children~