What is better? 28. 06. 09

What is better?
To live for everything you have?
To come home late..
To miss last train..
To love all pretty girls around..
Ten dollars every evening for fun..
And getting joy for thousand - never less!
While sitting in the park on grass,
And singing till the voice gets messed!
And smile, drinking to get lost,
All problems leaving, even those,
That bore you...

What's fucking better?
May be try to find the only one?
And make myself to love her?
All God damn parties getting done..
To live just for her?
To work twelve hours, twenty four per seven,
And keeping naive dream of raising to the heaven...
And on and on.. And more and more..
To set myself the ban on rides without a lore?
Fall foul of rude and never stepping back,
To drown in shit of stupid words and always feel the lack
Of clear emotions...

What's even better, damn???
To take a doze?
And look how reaper's coming close?
To leave the past and kill the future days,
To choose a simple way from every single case!
Forget whatever had and everyone who loved!
Destroy your memories and bury dreams in dark...
To take a step from window, take a poison..
To leave the path for what you have been chosen!
Stop fighting.. Die..
In order to forget about lie...
What for???

Yes, everything is vain!
At least, I'm having nothing more to gain!
My life - some kind'a preach without a happy end!
Where I'm a character that always can not stand
In front of wind and thunderstorm,
Who goes away and all alone!
And everyone who meets me use to spit!
Directly in my face...
All cases seem to look like shit!
And none of them can make me really happy.