So amazing with lies and with comedy,
I'm so tired to be only yours.
So crazy, so nice without melody!
You are just the newer curse...
Why has she forgotten my telephone
While explaining we were so done
With the tries of breaking the empty stone
Of the union firmly the one?
I'm so silly without her galaxies,
I'm so sad without her dreams.
How can I find the balances
Of my life and my time, which she trims?
So flying, so willing, so various!
She was all in my list I could act.
Why had she made all mysterious?
Without calls, without name, without fact...
21.09.2011 (4:13pm)
(Book 16 "Without Her Galaxies", cycle 91 "The Alight Rooms")
So Amazing With Lies And With Comedy
© Copyright: Максим Митрофанов 2, 2011
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Рецензии
I really don't get why ppl always think that if a poem is in English, they should write their reviews in English as well. But I won't break this rule. It's a tradition now.
I think this is your best poem in English. I really like it. I like the meaning the most. But I'm not sure that while reading it sounds completely rhythmical even if the endings are correct the same in exact lines. That's my personal opinion but I've got the males usually like to write ending to ending, correct rhymes. I think more of melody how it'd be sound. But the meaning is so sad but ... um beautiful.
One more thing: I suppose that telephone it's a thing and "forgotten my telephone" sounds so Russian, because we say so all the time.
English-speaking ppl say "telephone number, phone number"
Екатерина Поздеева 13.07.2012 22:46 • Заявить о нарушении
I think this is your best poem in English. I really like it. I like the meaning the most. But I'm not sure that while reading it sounds completely rhythmical even if the endings are correct the same in exact lines. That's my personal opinion but I've got the males usually like to write ending to ending, correct rhymes. I think more of melody how it'd be sound. But the meaning is so sad but ... um beautiful.
One more thing: I suppose that telephone it's a thing and "forgotten my telephone" sounds so Russian, because we say so all the time.
English-speaking ppl say "telephone number, phone number"
Екатерина Поздеева 13.07.2012 22:46 • Заявить о нарушении
Thank you for the note about "telephone". Sure, this expression was inserted as the russian sounding and to use for the style. I'm glad that you like the verse. Thank you once more.
Максим Митрофанов 2 15.07.2012 00:51 Заявить о нарушении
Максим Митрофанов 2 15.07.2012 00:51 Заявить о нарушении
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