Dancing in the forest
When no one can see them
They move their hands slowly,
Show the way out from circle.
The death don`t bother them
Even they seems to be alive,
Their eyes so violet and blue,
Inside those colors you would dive.
Their movements gracious and electric,
They laugh and light are
Blazing from their eyes,
You feel they can give you lots of pleasure,
But then you go to die.
However, if your heart is open,
And you are brave enough to stay,
You will find out that in a circle,
It was you, who wished to play.
In the forest
© Copyright: Лалита Шрестха, 2011
Свидетельство о публикации №111102800933
Свидетельство о публикации №111102800933
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I Didn't understand what it is about. But as I understand it was not necessary.
Several grammar mistakes:
The death DOESN'T bother them
Even they SEEM to be alive
In English unlike Russian if you skip IS/ARE it sounds alien
Their movements ARE gracious and electric.
You can find examples in genuine English poetry, but you - try to avoid it.
Саша Варламов 14.08.2012 18:55 • Заявить о нарушении
Several grammar mistakes:
The death DOESN'T bother them
Even they SEEM to be alive
In English unlike Russian if you skip IS/ARE it sounds alien
Their movements ARE gracious and electric.
You can find examples in genuine English poetry, but you - try to avoid it.
Саша Варламов 14.08.2012 18:55 • Заявить о нарушении
thanks for the correction. Это стих о мифических небесных танцовщицах, которые могут дать человеку доступ в другое измерение:)) знаю, тут мало понятного, в любом случае спасибо большое за исправления;)
Лалита Шрестха 20.08.2012 23:32 Заявить о нарушении
Лалита Шрестха 20.08.2012 23:32 Заявить о нарушении