Just pretext

I close my eyes on,
I see your smile, I see your face.
I think of you? Wrong.
My mind of mirror and his grace.
Im feeling happy
Without sunny and disgrace.
Im feeling pretty
Of world, of birds, of my birthplace.

What Im doing here? I dont know,
But I've been here five months ago.
I was felt again that I should do next
And my arms in mirror - just pretext.

My time is falling,
His have a name, his have a price.
And Im growing,
Just like a barrow, found advice.
I know, we monsters.
We eat themselves, a time, a way.
But what with afters?
I think, we bites a runaways.

What Im doing here? I dont know,
But I've been here five months ago.
I was felt again that I should do next
And my arms in mirror - just pretext.

Oh, it was my last day, when Im looking back.
I know that's nothing new there I see.
Oh, my optimism has found a new attack,
To catch my fear, to catch my shyness aback.

I was a stupid girl. But I come back
With my speed and strong, And I cant backtrack.
Like a little pet, I then had your lamb,
But I'm trying now to change, oh, damn.