* * *
Being drawn into earthly passions,
I vision as from gloom to light
Once, dressed in black, an angel rushes
To cry: "Salvation is a lie!"
Yet, unassuming and lighthearted,
Delightful as a noble deed,
Another comes, in snow-white garment
To add that hope is true indeed.
* * *
В земные страсти вовлеченный,
Я знаю, что из тьмы на свет
Oднажды выйдет ангел черный
И крикнет, что спасенья нет.
Но простодушный и несмелый,
Прекрасный, как благая весть,
Идущий следом ангел белый
Прошепчет, что надежда есть.
Б. Окуджава-В земные страсти... -In English
© Copyright: Александр Гивенталь, 2011
Свидетельство о публикации №111071602699
Свидетельство о публикации №111071602699
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Made my own version too... http://stihi.ru/2011/07/16/5251
Thanks for finding this work, it is very inspirational... And, quite frankly, very timely for me.
I like your translation, the "white department" and "true indeed" give it a certain new twist.
Евгения Саркисьянц 16.07.2011 17:38 • Заявить о нарушении
Thanks for finding this work, it is very inspirational... And, quite frankly, very timely for me.
I like your translation, the "white department" and "true indeed" give it a certain new twist.
Евгения Саркисьянц 16.07.2011 17:38 • Заявить о нарушении
Dear Eugenia,
I did not just find this poem (somehow I knew it - don't remember since when), but it is very pleasing to know that it can be helpful and timely for someone to read Okudzhava's poetry (and this poem is very much Okudzhavian - isn't it?)
Actually my translation is over a year old (I realized yesterday that I had never posted it to stihi.ru). I've checked yours, and to "evaluate" it, I still need to get used to it as much as I got used to my own. I'd like to note though that both, yours and mine, are sinful
(yours less than mine) of one misrepresentation of the original: "благая весть" is most likely a reference to THE one: Благовещение.
A year ago, I had an excuse. I needed to inscribe a dedication on a copy of Tanakh given to my son at his Jewish school. I realized that there is little I can write from myself that would be worth looking at every school day, and so inscribed this poem of Okudzhava instead. Yet, the children were supposed to read to the class their parents' dedications, and an English translation was needed, but openly Christian references would have been inappropriate. (The irony about white vs. black departments was OK, I suppose, since the school is rather secular.)
Александр Гивенталь 17.07.2011 09:01 Заявить о нарушении
I did not just find this poem (somehow I knew it - don't remember since when), but it is very pleasing to know that it can be helpful and timely for someone to read Okudzhava's poetry (and this poem is very much Okudzhavian - isn't it?)
Actually my translation is over a year old (I realized yesterday that I had never posted it to stihi.ru). I've checked yours, and to "evaluate" it, I still need to get used to it as much as I got used to my own. I'd like to note though that both, yours and mine, are sinful
(yours less than mine) of one misrepresentation of the original: "благая весть" is most likely a reference to THE one: Благовещение.
A year ago, I had an excuse. I needed to inscribe a dedication on a copy of Tanakh given to my son at his Jewish school. I realized that there is little I can write from myself that would be worth looking at every school day, and so inscribed this poem of Okudzhava instead. Yet, the children were supposed to read to the class their parents' dedications, and an English translation was needed, but openly Christian references would have been inappropriate. (The irony about white vs. black departments was OK, I suppose, since the school is rather secular.)
Александр Гивенталь 17.07.2011 09:01 Заявить о нарушении