ONLY HOME
«I would stay if you’d let me stay,
I would go if you let go…
But I couldn’t go far away,
Because you are my only home…»
Каждый вечер в тебе растворяюсь,
Отсчитав четный знак этажей,-
Я туда только в мыслях являюсь,
Как же мало мне нужно уже...
То зайду посетителем томным
И почти бессловесно сижу,
То зверино, жадно, истомно
О другом вдруг тебе расскажу...
Запах твой стал моим ароматом
Ненавязчивым шлейфом страстей,
И не верится, что не рядом...
И зачем-то огромна постель...
Заведу нас мысленно в дебри,
И оставлю там ночевать,
И, кружа, как цветочные вепри,
Друг у друга нектар собирать...
А потом поползем к рассвету,
Неохотно в холодный реал...
Где светило второе лето
Вместо «смайл» выбирает оскал.
У меня, вроде, то же тело,
Только вот, упростились стихи,
И звучание души оскудело
От игры не «в четыре руки».
И твоя тень с моею простится,
По своим побредя не спеша,
Прикажу всему остановиться,
Возвращенья прося, не дыша...
Я стараюсь тебя не тревожить,
Может быть, так спокойней и мне...
И молчу об одном и том же,
Только ты не верь тишине...
Я тебя берегу, как пламень,
И совсем не жалею о том...
Будто ты – моя мирная гавань,
Словно ты – мой единственный дом.
ONLY HOME
© Copyright: Таня Шиллер, 2011
Свидетельство о публикации №111071304254
Свидетельство о публикации №111071304254
Рецензии
The man you knew doesn't exist any more
he died when your heart left our home.
Every day I awoke praying that you and our boy would still be there.
He became my only friend as you drifted away .
The same joy that brought us our boy brought with it your depression, robbed you of dopamine, seratonin and all other happiness and I watched daily as you slipped away into the void of feeling nothing for anyone and blaming me.
My heart was breaking at both of us being so alone as you slipped further into nothingness with your body having given all of the neurotransmitters to our son and as i watched you slip away , not from me but from you.
You instinctively fled to the safety of your parent's home where responsibility didn't exist other than needing to cook and clean. The pressure was off.
So after you left me 3 times I turned the table in order to shock. never believing for one moment that you would go. I wanted you to fight , I wanted you to scream. I wanted to show you how hurt I was but there was no more fight like there had been when you fought me in a Turkish room for what you wanted.
So now I wonder the planet alone. Without my soulmate and without my son. I came to belgrade so you could return without fear while I sorted out the problems in England but despite being so close you still ignored me .
So now with my scrap of life I will head towards the country of your birth, not to fight but just to pray that being closer will make my prayers be heard .
I will lay my broken heart and lack of life upon your doorstep for together we can give our son and ourselves a life and apart the two halves will be fighting his whole life to be rejoined as will ours .
Баррингтон Шиллер 25.06.2013 20:33 • Заявить о нарушении
he died when your heart left our home.
Every day I awoke praying that you and our boy would still be there.
He became my only friend as you drifted away .
The same joy that brought us our boy brought with it your depression, robbed you of dopamine, seratonin and all other happiness and I watched daily as you slipped away into the void of feeling nothing for anyone and blaming me.
My heart was breaking at both of us being so alone as you slipped further into nothingness with your body having given all of the neurotransmitters to our son and as i watched you slip away , not from me but from you.
You instinctively fled to the safety of your parent's home where responsibility didn't exist other than needing to cook and clean. The pressure was off.
So after you left me 3 times I turned the table in order to shock. never believing for one moment that you would go. I wanted you to fight , I wanted you to scream. I wanted to show you how hurt I was but there was no more fight like there had been when you fought me in a Turkish room for what you wanted.
So now I wonder the planet alone. Without my soulmate and without my son. I came to belgrade so you could return without fear while I sorted out the problems in England but despite being so close you still ignored me .
So now with my scrap of life I will head towards the country of your birth, not to fight but just to pray that being closer will make my prayers be heard .
I will lay my broken heart and lack of life upon your doorstep for together we can give our son and ourselves a life and apart the two halves will be fighting his whole life to be rejoined as will ours .
Баррингтон Шиллер 25.06.2013 20:33 • Заявить о нарушении