Somebody help me to find a good husband

SOMEBODY HELP ME TO FIND A GOOD HUSBAND:

I looked everywhere, I've tried what I could.
I've searched every pub, they weren't that good.
I've checked every club, they weren't that sane.
I've visited strip clubs, but that was in vain…
I've been into shops, cafes and allies,
But couldn't discover posh stud with a palace!
I've been to the movies, I've been to the beach,
But no one of those was actually rich.
Ok, maybe wealthy might do for today…
I did find Someone, but he turned to be gay.
Ok, maybe poor, with good looking grace -
He was a good looking, but only his face.
Ok maybe poor and unattractive,
But why can't he be lovingly active?!   
I did find someone, someone, at least
But this eager man works as a priest
Some are too tall, some are too short.
Some are too sporty, some have never done sport.
Some are too bossy and smart and snobs,
Some are too fat and they fart with their knobs!
Some are too hairy, too hairless and such,...
Some are too stupid, most are too much.

looking for husbands isn't that easy,
And better to say it is a hard task…
Well, I admit, it keeps my mind busy!
So, what's my ideal? Do not even ask...