When you see me smiling...

When you see me smiling
It's my usual self-defense
My soul inside is crying
From all this outside offense

I pretend to be the one
I've never really been
And I tell about someone
I've never really seen

I wrote the story of my life
Just to become a part of it
I wasn't someone's wife
I wasn't someone's kid

I look for answers in wrong places
Forgetting questions on the way
I lost myself in all these spaces
And I don't know where I'm today

Don't try to understand my mind
It's complicated and too dark
It leads to nowhere and beyond
You won't see a special spark

I close my soul like a kitchen door
To fit this strange and gloomy world
I'm so in need of something more
But I just play my part and try to be heard


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